Brett, James, and Shorty in the Night At The Roxbury - Enhanced Version.

Posted by Short Round from 1Cust108.tnt2.fort-lauderdale.fl.da.uu.net on September 17, 1999 at 12:34:27:

The BMW cruised down the roads of Beverly Hills. Brett was in the drivers seat, James in the passenger seat, and Shorty in the back seat. It had been ten years after the Valinor adventure. The Lamberts had gotten into a truce with the Pheonix group, but Nobody and Deirdre took a wrong turn in the road of life. But that's another story. They all wore a black T-shirt, a gold necklace which were identical, and a sport coat and pants. Brett's suit was purple, James' was blue, and Shorty's was green. They bobbed their heads up and down as they listened to Stayin' Alive by The Bee Gees. The sound of shattered glass came from the passenger seat. They all looked at James.
"I broke the window again!" James said.
"Dang!" Shorty spoke out. "The rental service is gonna get pissed at you!"
"I'll just tell them you did it." James said.
"Shut up, Buttberball!" Shorty yelled at James.
James steamed up.
"No one calls me Butterball, you hear? No one! I hate that name you hear? I hate it! Don't call me Butterball! I find it hurtful!" James was pissed.
"Alright, alright, alright!" Shorty said. "Don't get excited."

"Whoa," James said. "Look!"
James indicated what was outside the window - The Roxbury!
"Let's go check it out." Brett pulled over to the sidewalk.

They stepped up to the bouncer.
"Names please." The bouncer asked.
"James and Brett Lambert." Brett said.
"Short Round." Shorty said.
"You two brothers?" The bouncer indicated James and Brett.
"No..." James said.
"YES!" Both James and Brett said together.
"That's quite fruity." The bouncer said.
A man then came up to the bouncer and handed him a wad of cash. The bouncer let him in.
"What the crap?" Shorty shouted.
A Ferrari then pulled up to the nightclub and out stepped Charlie Sheen!
"Charlie Sheen!" The trio said together.
Sheen just walked up to the bouncer who let him in. James, Brett, and Shorty pretended to follow him when the bouncer blocked them.
"Now remember, you still come in." He said.

They were driving down the street yet again.
"We're gonna get in next time!" James barked. "You know why?"
"We're good looking?" Shorty guessed.
"We are very good looking!" James said. "Both you and Brett especially."
"Thanks." Brett said.
"I know a better way how to get in." Brett said.
"How?" James asked.
"That guy gave the bouncer some money right?" Brett started. "Well we can give him twice as much!"
"Good idea bro'." James said.
"We just have to find an ATM machine." Brett said.

"...There's one!" James pointed out.
Brett stopped short.
"No," Shorty said. "That's where they drop off tapes."
Brett continued.
"There!-" James yelled as Brett stopped short again.
The car suddenly jolted, all the windows shattered.

"Perfect!" Charlie Sheen said at the wheel. "Here comes yet another lawsuit! Just great!"
He slammed his fist on the steering wheel which activated the horn. Sheen jumped.
"This piece of crap!" He yelled. "My best Ferrari."

James and Shorty stepped around the car.
"Now the rental service is really gonna be pissed!" Shorty exclaimed.
"Totally..." James said, rubbing his head.
Brett stepped out of the car.
"You two ok?" Brett asked.
Both Shorty and James bobbed their heads up and down to see if they still "Had it".
"Yeah." They both said.

"Oh great! They're starting with the neck injuries again! I'm going to get sued! This is it!"
Sheen stepped out of the car, struggling to close the door.

"You three ok?" He asked the trio.
"Charlie Sheen!" All three of them said at the same time.
"Sorry about the car." Brett said.
"Don't worry, I got quite a few." Sheen said.
"Hey Sheen!" Shorty said. "Remember us? We were in line at the Roxbury. But they wouldn't let us in!"
"Well do you want me to get you into the Roxbury?" Sheen asked.
James, Brett, and Shorty exchanged glances which was a definate "Totally!"

"They're with me." Sheen said to the bouncer as they stepped into the club.
"This is the coolest place I ever been to!" Brett said.
"No kiddin', dude!" Shorty said. "We ought to get on the list.
"This is cool." James said.
They pondered.
"Guys?" Sheen said. "This is the coat room. The club's in here."

They walked in. The place was packed with people! The music was booming throughout! The song Will You Be My Lover, by La Bouche was playing.
"Now this is cooler than the other room!" Brett pondered.
They walked down the stairs of the landing onto the dance floor. They were being bumped around like the steel ball of a pinball game. They crashed into this one guy, squishing him on the floor now.
"Get off me, babies!" He said with an English accent.
"Sorry dude," Shorty said, getting up. "Wait a minute! I know that voice!"
"Yeah baby," The man said. "It's my voice."
"Austin, is that you?" Shorty asked.
"Shorty?" Mr. Powers said. "It's really you baby!"
"It's been ten years! Uh... Austin, meet my friends, James and Brett Lambert."
"Wait a minute?" Austin said. "Aren't you two those guys I interrogated in Switzerland?"
"Yeah," James said. "That's us."
"All two of us." Brett said.
"But don't worry Austin," Shorty said. "They're ok now."
"Let me show you to my VIP table." Austin said.
"VIP huh?" Shorty said. "Cool."

As they walked to the VIP table they seen Sheen sitting at it.
"So there you guys are." Sheen said.
"We were old childhood friends with Mr. Powers. A coincedance that we met here." Shorty said.
"Well," Sheen said. "I'll be going. See you sometime." Sheen got up and left.

A half hour later.
"...Ya get it?" James ended.
"I get it quite fine babies!" Austin replied. "I'll see into it."
"Good," Shorty said. "We always wanted our own nightclub. The other ones never let us in."

The three ladies, Goldfinger, Kate LFM, and Ulla standed on the balcony.
"Look at those guys." Goldfinger said. "They're hanging out with Mr. Powers, the owner of the club. They must be rich."
"Let's put some bait on the hook and catch us a gold fish." LFM said.
"Let's go." Ulla said.

James, Brett, and Shorty stood at the bar. What is Love, by Haddaway, was playing. They were bobbing their heads up and down. They turned around as a chik walked by.
"Yo what's up?" Brett said.
"How about some of this?" James flexed his muscle and did a muscle-man stance.
"Or a a little of that?" So did Shorty.
A lady on the balcony was calling someone, apparently not them.
"Who me?" brett said.
"Wait, him?" Shorty said, pointing to James.
"No not you!" The lady said, apparently anoyed.
"Him?" James said. "No me?"
The lady walked away."
"Yeah, whatever," They both said. "Go along."
"Man, she really wanted Brett." Shorty said.
"Yeah, I know." James said.
Both James and Shorty ran seperate ways to the dance floor.

Shorty cut in between a couple and started rapidly shaking his stuff.
"Get out of the way, squirt." The guy who was dancing before, said, as he grabbed Shorty and threw him across the dance floor. He started bumping into people.

At the bar, Brett was talking to this one chik.
"...so anyway, I'm standing there in line waiting to use the payphone, and this guy who was on the phone turns around and tips his hat..." Brett makes a gesture. "...like this. And who do you think that guy was? Emilio Estevez! The Mighty Duck man! I was like, 'Emilio!'" Brett started to chuckle until the chik walked away from him.

James was running through the dance floor, when he passed this guy who was doing acrobats on the floor and getting down doing some rapid break dance. As James past him, he tripped over the guy.
"Whoa, whoa, watch it!" James retaliated.
James was getting bumped by other people and started staggering across the dance floor. He bumped into Shorty who was also staggering. They both staggered back to the bar and bumped into Brett, all three tumbling on the floor.
"Whoa, so I see people rejected you two again huh? Sore losers." Brett said.
"So, did you meet anyone?" James asked.
"No." Brett answered.
They suddenly seen three chiks walking towards them.
"Yo, what's up?" Brett greeted.
"Hi, my name's Goldfinger." She extended a hand to Brett.
"Brett Lambert." Brett did too.
"Yo, what's your name babe?" Shorty asked.
"My name's Ulla." Ulla replied.
"Kate," Kate extended her hand to James.
"James, James Lambert that is." James said.
The song, This is Your Night started.
"Wanna dance?" Brett asked.
"Yeah sure." Goldfinger answered, for all three of them.
"Alright," Brett said. "Take it easy!"
"Brett," Shorty said. "I think she said yes!"
"Well then let's go!" James said as he led LFM to the dance floor.
The rest followed.

James, Brett, and Shorty did the head bob and were dancing like animals! Bad dance steps. They knocked into the girls who flew into a few other people. James and Brett kept on dancing and then started with themselves. Brett and James glided along the dance floor and then Brett lifted James up in the air by the waist like a ballerina. James' legs wrapped around Brett, who started to spin like a top across the dance floor. Shorty rapidly shaked his thang as he cut in through people. Shorty ran and glided under Bretts legs like a tunnel. The three girls came back and knocked James, Brett, and Shorty off their feet the same way they did to them.
They got up, and anything they did, the girls did also. They marched across the dance floor and started to do some pretty good syncronized stuff. James, Brett and Shorty nervously did a nose twidling gesture. Brett was knocked off his feet by Goldfinger and the got up and wobbly marched back to LFm and knocked her down! James and Shorty were knocked down by LFM and Ulla. They both got up then rapidly and swiftly shaked their way back to them. The dance floor cleared as they were all standing at the end. They turned around and did like the Monkees and marched down the dance floor. The song ended...

- - -

Shorty lays on his bed, all rolled into a ball, his pillow across the room, and his sheets all wrapped up in a ball on the floor. James was in the other bed, all rustled up under the sheets. Brett was already up.

Shorty and James came down the stairs, James was in his blue bath robe as Shorty was in his green bath robe. Brett was at the counter sipping some coffee and was in his purple bath robe.
"Hi guys." Brett said. "Mornin' to ya's."
"Shut up." James grumpily said.
"Well thank's for sharing that with me!" Brett replied.
Brett put a plate with eggs, bacon, and toast in front of Shorty.
"I'm not hungry." Shorty said.
"Why not?" Brett asked.
"You know I can't eat when I first wake up." Shorty said.
"I got bad news for you guys." Brett said.
Shorty grunted a "Yes" while James was resting his head on the table.
"The chiks broke up with us after they found out we weren't as rich as they thought we were."
Shorty grunted, James didn't move.
"So guys, want to go to the Roxbury tonight?" Brett asked.
Both of them put their heads up.

- - -

They cruised down Beverly Hills yet again in their brand new BMW. This time not a rental car.
"Whoa, Brett, James, look!" Shorty pointed out. "James, that nightclub! That was your idea!"
James and Brett looked out the window to see a nightclub with the outside having couches and music.
"Someone stole my idea! Let's go check it out!" James commanded.

As they walked up to the bouncer, he asked their names.
"James Lambert." James said.
"Brett Lambert." Brett said.
"Short Lambert." Shorty said.
Brett and James looked at Shorty.
"Just kidding!" Shorty joked.
"You two brothers?" The bouncer indicated the real Lamberts.
"No..." James said.
"YES!" Both of them said.
"Come on in." The bouncer said.
"Huh?" They all grunted.
"Yeah, you're on the list." The bouncer said.
Brett, James, and Shorty walked in.

While in the nightclub, they noticed that there was street signs, cars, and even street lights!
"Now I know someone stole my idea! The inside-out idea!" James said.
"Hi Mr Round and Lambert." An employee walking by said.
Brett, James, and Shorty continued on.
"I was hoping to see you here babies!" A familiar voice rang out.
"Austin?" Shorty said, turning around.
"Yeah, it's me!" He said. "So, what do you think?"
"It was my idea!" James barked.
"And you are also the owners too!" Austin said.
"WOW!" They all pondered. "Sweet..."

They went to the bar and ordered a few drinks.
"Ok, on the house" The bartender said.
This is living! They thought.
They noticed a few familiar people.
"Indy! Meg!" Brett shouted.
"Huh?" James and Shorty were confused.
Indy and Meg came running to them.
"You guys look great! Long time no see." Brett said.
"Hi guys." Meg said.
"Hey." James and Shorty said at the same time.
Miki came running to Shorty.
"Hey! Wanna dance?" Micki asked Shorty.
"Sure!" Shorty heard What Is Love, by Haddaway playing.
They all ran to the dance floor, as did James and Brett who seen a few chiks.
They all danced with the head bobbing, fast moving, dance steps they usually did...

THE END.

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Brett, James, and Shorty in the Night At The Roxbury - Enhanced Version.(Edited Mistake) Short Round 12:44:56 9/17/99 (0)

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: The BMW cruised down the roads of Beverly Hills. Brett was in the drivers seat, James in the passenger seat, and Shorty in the back seat. It had been ten years after the Valinor adventure. The Lamberts had gotten into a truce with the Pheonix group, but Nobody and Deirdre took a wrong turn in the road of life. But that's another story. They all wore a black T-shirt, a gold necklace which were identical, and a sport coat and pants. Brett's suit was purple, James' was blue, and Shorty's was green. They bobbed their heads up and down as they listened to Stayin' Alive by The Bee Gees. The sound of shattered glass came from the passenger seat. They all looked at James.
: "I broke the window again!" James said.
: "Dang!" Shorty spoke out. "The rental service is gonna get pissed at you!"
: "I'll just tell them you did it." James said.
: "Shut up, Buttberball!" Shorty yelled at James.
: James steamed up.
: "No one calls me Butterball, you hear? No one! I hate that name you hear? I hate it! Don't call me Butterball! I find it hurtful!" James was pissed.
: "Alright, alright, alright!" Shorty said. "Don't get excited."

: "Whoa," James said. "Look!"
: James indicated what was outside the window - The Roxbury!
: "Let's go check it out." Brett pulled over to the sidewalk.

: They stepped up to the bouncer.
: "Names please." The bouncer asked.
: "James and Brett Lambert." Brett said.
: "Short Round." Shorty said.
: "You two brothers?" The bouncer indicated James and Brett.
: "No..." James said.
: "YES!" Both James and Brett said together.
: "That's quite fruity." The bouncer said.
: A man then came up to the bouncer and handed him a wad of cash. The bouncer let him in.
: "What the crap?" Shorty shouted.
: A Ferrari then pulled up to the nightclub and out stepped Charlie Sheen!
: "Charlie Sheen!" The trio said together.
: Sheen just walked up to the bouncer who let him in. James, Brett, and Shorty pretended to follow him when the bouncer blocked them.
: "Now remember, you still come in." He said.

: They were driving down the street yet again.
: "We're gonna get in next time!" James barked. "You know why?"
: "We're good looking?" Shorty guessed.
: "We are very good looking!" James said. "Both you and Brett especially."
: "Thanks." Brett said.
: "I know a better way how to get in." Brett said.
: "How?" James asked.
: "That guy gave the bouncer some money right?" Brett started. "Well we can give him twice as much!"
: "Good idea bro'." James said.
: "We just have to find an ATM machine." Brett said.

: "...There's one!" James pointed out. 
: Brett stopped short.
: "No," Shorty said. "That's where they drop off tapes."
: Brett continued.
: "There!-" James yelled as Brett stopped short again.
: The car suddenly jolted, all the windows shattered.

: "Perfect!" Charlie Sheen said at the wheel. "Here comes yet another lawsuit! Just great!"
: He slammed his fist on the steering wheel which activated the horn. Sheen jumped.
: "This piece of crap!" He yelled. "My best Ferrari."

: James and Shorty stepped around the car.
: "Now the rental service is really gonna be pissed!" Shorty exclaimed.
: "Totally..." James said, rubbing his head.
: Brett stepped out of the car.
: "You two ok?" Brett asked.
: Both Shorty and James bobbed their heads up and down to see if they still "Had it".
: "Yeah." They both said.

: "Oh great! They're starting with the neck injuries again! I'm going to get sued! This is it!"
: Sheen stepped out of the car, struggling to close the door.

: "You three ok?" He asked the trio.
: "Charlie Sheen!" All three of them said at the same time.
: "Sorry about the car." Brett said.
: "Don't worry, I got quite a few." Sheen said.
: "Hey Sheen!" Shorty said. "Remember us? We were in line at the Roxbury. But they wouldn't let us in!"
: "Well do you want me to get you into the Roxbury?" Sheen asked.
: James, Brett, and Shorty exchanged glances which was a definate "Totally!"

: "They're with me." Sheen said to the bouncer as they stepped into the club.
: "This is the coolest place I ever been to!" Brett said.
: "No kiddin', dude!" Shorty said. "We ought to get on the list.
: "This is cool." James said.
: They pondered.
: "Guys?" Sheen said. "This is the coat room. The club's in here."

: They walked in. The place was packed with people! The music was booming throughout! The song Will You Be My Lover, by La Bouche was playing.
: "Now this is cooler than the other room!" Brett pondered.
: They walked down the stairs of the landing onto the dance floor. They were being bumped around like the steel ball of a pinball game. They crashed into this one guy, squishing him on the floor now.
: "Get off me, babies!" He said with an English accent.
: "Sorry dude," Shorty said, getting up. "Wait a minute! I know that voice!"
: "Yeah baby," The man said. "It's my voice."
: "Austin, is that you?" Shorty asked.
: "Shorty?" Mr. Powers said. "It's really you baby!"
: "It's been ten years! Uh... Austin, meet my friends, James and Brett Lambert."
: "Wait a minute?" Austin said. "Aren't you two those guys I interrogated in Switzerland?"
: "Yeah," James said. "That's us."
: "All two of us." Brett said.
: "But don't worry Austin," Shorty said. "They're ok now."
: "Let me show you to my VIP table." Austin said.
: "VIP huh?" Shorty said. "Cool."

: As they walked to the VIP table they seen Sheen sitting at it.
: "So there you guys are." Sheen said.
: "We were old childhood friends with Mr. Powers. A coincedance that we met here." Shorty said.
: "Well," Sheen said. "I'll be going. See you sometime." Sheen got up and left.

: A half hour later.
: "...Ya get it?" James ended.
: "I get it quite fine babies!" Austin replied. "I'll see into it."
: "Good," Shorty said. "We always wanted our own nightclub. The other ones never let us in."

: The three ladies, Goldfinger, Kate LFM, and Ulla standed on the balcony.
: "Look at those guys." Goldfinger said. "They're hanging out with Mr. Powers, the owner of the club. They must be rich."
: "Let's put some bait on the hook and catch us a gold fish." LFM said.
: "Let's go." Ulla said.

: James, Brett, and Shorty stood at the bar. What is Love, by Haddaway, was playing. They were bobbing their heads up and down. They turned around as a chik walked by.
: "Yo what's up?" Brett said.
: "How about some of this?" James flexed his muscle and did a muscle-man stance.
: "Or a a little of that?" So did Shorty.
: A lady on the balcony was calling someone, apparently not them.
: "Who me?" brett said.
: "Wait, him?" Shorty said, pointing to James.
: "No not you!" The lady said, apparently anoyed.
: "Him?" James said. "No me?"
: The lady walked away."
: "Yeah, whatever," They both said. "Go along."
: "Man, she really wanted Brett." Shorty said.
: "Yeah, I know." James said.
: Both James and Shorty ran seperate ways to the dance floor.

: Shorty cut in between a couple and started rapidly shaking his stuff.
: "Get out of the way, squirt." The guy who was dancing before, said, as he grabbed Shorty and threw him across the dance floor. He started bumping into people.

: At the bar, Brett was talking to this one chik.
: "...so anyway, I'm standing there in line waiting to use the payphone, and this guy who was on the phone turns around and tips his hat..." Brett makes a gesture. "...like this. And who do you think that guy was? Emilio Estevez! The Mighty Duck man! I was like, 'Emilio!'" Brett started to chuckle until the chik walked away from him.

: James was running through the dance floor, when he passed this guy who was doing acrobats on the floor and getting down doing some rapid break dance. As James past him, he tripped over the guy.
: "Whoa, whoa, watch it!" James retaliated.
: James was getting bumped by other people and started staggering across the dance floor. He bumped into Shorty who was also staggering. They both staggered back to the bar and bumped into Brett, all three tumbling on the floor.
: "Whoa, so I see people rejected you two again huh? Sore losers." Brett said.
: "So, did you meet anyone?" James asked.
: "No." Brett answered.
: They suddenly seen three chiks walking towards them.
: "Yo, what's up?" Brett greeted.
: "Hi, my name's Goldfinger." She extended a hand to Brett.
: "Brett Lambert." Brett did too.
: "Yo, what's your name babe?" Shorty asked.
: "My name's Ulla." Ulla replied.
: "Kate," Kate extended her hand to James.
: "James, James Lambert that is." James said.
: The song, This is Your Night started.
: "Wanna dance?" Brett asked.
: "Yeah sure." Goldfinger answered, for all three of them.
: "Alright," Brett said. "Take it easy!" 
: "Brett," Shorty said. "I think she said yes!"
: "Well then let's go!" James said as he led LFM to the dance floor.
: The rest followed.

: James, Brett, and Shorty did the head bob and were dancing like animals! Bad dance steps. They knocked into the girls who flew into a few other people. James and Brett kept on dancing and then started with themselves. Brett and James glided along the dance floor and then Brett lifted James up in the air by the waist like a ballerina. James' legs wrapped around Brett, who started to spin like a top across the dance floor. Shorty rapidly shaked his thang as he cut in through people. Shorty ran and glided under Bretts legs like a tunnel. The three girls came back and knocked James, Brett, and Shorty off their feet the same way they did to them.
: They got up, and anything they did, the girls did also. They marched across the dance floor and started to do some pretty good syncronized stuff. James, Brett and Shorty nervously did a nose twidling gesture. Brett was knocked off his feet by Goldfinger and the got up and wobbly marched back to LFm and knocked her down! James and Shorty were knocked down by LFM and Ulla. They both got up then rapidly and swiftly shaked their way back to them. The dance floor cleared as they were all standing at the end. They turned around and did like the Monkees and marched down the dance floor. The song ended...

: - - -

: Shorty lays on his bed, all rolled into a ball, his pillow across the room, and his sheets all wrapped up in a ball on the floor. James was in the other bed, all rustled up under the sheets. Brett was already up.

: Shorty and James came down the stairs, James was in his blue bath robe as Shorty was in his green bath robe. Brett was at the counter sipping some coffee and was in his purple bath robe. 
: "Hi guys." Brett said. "Mornin' to ya's."
: "Shut up." James grumpily said.
: "Well thank's for sharing that with me!" Brett replied.
: Brett put a plate with eggs, bacon, and toast in front of Shorty.
: "I'm not hungry." Shorty said.
: "Why not?" Brett asked.
: "You know I can't eat when I first wake up." Shorty said.
: "I got bad news for you guys." Brett said.
: Shorty grunted a "Yes" while James was resting his head on the table.
: "The chiks broke up with us after they found out we weren't as rich as they thought we were."
: Shorty grunted, James didn't move.
: "So guys, want to go to the Roxbury tonight?" Brett asked.
: Both of them put their heads up.

: - - -

: They cruised down Beverly Hills yet again in their brand new BMW. This time not a rental car.
: "Whoa, Brett, James, look!" Shorty pointed out. "James, that nightclub! That was your idea!"
: James and Brett looked out the window to see a nightclub with the outside having couches and music.
: "Someone stole my idea! Let's go check it out!" James commanded.

: As they walked up to the bouncer, he asked their names.
: "James Lambert." James said.
: "Brett Lambert." Brett said.
: "Short Lambert." Shorty said. 
: Brett and James looked at Shorty.
: "Just kidding!" Shorty joked.
: "You two brothers?" The bouncer indicated the real Lamberts.
: "No..." James said.
: "YES!" Both of them said.
: "Come on in." The bouncer said.
: "Huh?" They all grunted.
: "Yeah, you're on the list." The bouncer said.
: Brett, James, and Shorty walked in.

: While in the nightclub, they noticed that there was street signs, cars, and even street lights!
: "Now I know someone stole my idea! The inside-out idea!" James said.
: "Hi Mr Round and Lambert." An employee walking by said.
: Brett, James, and Shorty continued on.
: "I was hoping to see you here babies!" A familiar voice rang out.
: "Austin?" Shorty said, turning around.
: "Yeah, it's me!" He said. "So, what do you think?"
: "It was my idea!" James barked.
: "And you are also the owners too!" Austin said.
: "WOW!" They all pondered. "Sweet..."

: They went to the bar and ordered a few drinks.
: "Ok, on the house" The bartender said.
: This is living! They thought.
: They noticed a few familiar people.
: "Indy! Meg!" Brett shouted.
: "Huh?" James and Shorty were confused.
: Indy and Meg came running to them.
: "You guys look great! Long time no see." Brett said.
: "Hi guys." Meg said.
: "Hey." James and Shorty said at the same time.
: Miki came running to Shorty.
: "Hey! Wanna dance?" Micki asked Shorty.
: "Sure!" Shorty heard What Is Love, by Haddaway playing.
: They all ran to the dance floor, as did James and Brett who seen a few chiks.
: They all danced with the head bobbing, fast moving, dance steps they usually did...

: THE END.

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