Chapter 4 of "The Lambert Bros. and the Quest for the 12 inch Indy Action figure"!

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Posted by Indiana James (Lambert) from 209.5.179.11 on September 23, 1999 at 11:50:33:

Alright! Here we go! Day 3 of this story's (err.. spoof's)
serialization! Here is the fourth chapter! Happy reading!

Chapter 4

ROB T, still holding the Lambert brothers at gunpoint, he demanded
answers from the pair. But, little did they know of the the
mysterious galleon that silently crept up on the cruise ship.

ìNow, hold on, let me explain--î James began to say but was cut off as
a Chinese pirate, fully armed, entered the room. ROB T. quickly took
aim at the pirate and gave a quick shot, which missed by about a foot.

The surprised pirate aimed his rifle at ROB T.ís chest and quickly
fired, bringing the Indy collectorís swift death.

In a quick decision, James kicked the pirate in the midsection and
knocked him down and out into the hallway. James rushed into the hall
to continue the fight. The pirate struck back with a kick of his own,
knocking James into the wall.

Meanwhile, cries and screams could be heard all throughout the ship as
dozens of Chinese pirates boarded the ship fully armed.

Still in ROB T.ís cabin, Brett looked out of the wood slated window
and gasped. ìPirates!!î

Back in the hallway, the Chinese pirate had grabbed a railing, removed
it from the bearings, broke it in half and with one in each hand,
twirled them in the direction of James.

Another pirate came in the direction of James. But this one already
had an opponent, one of the sailors from the ship, and the sailor was
losing big time. The other pirate kicked the sailor and he flew in
between James and his opponent. Quickly, James kneed the sailorís
opponent in the chest, snatched up his rifle and began twirling it at
his stick-wielding pirate.

Brett, meanwhile grabbed ROB T.ís gun. ìI hate not knowing what comes
next!î Brett muttered as he went out the door and ran to the opposite
end of the hallway of James and the pirate. Unfortunately, he ran
straight into half a dozen rifle-bearing pirates.

James and the pirate were still duking it out in the hall. After
rigorously fighting with the sticks, James dropped the rifle, twirled
around and kicked the pirate smack in the face. The pirate quickly
recovered and swung a punch at James who quickly ducked. James tried
to punch the pirate in the belly, but he shielded the bunch with his
arm. The pirate swung around for another punch, but James blocked his
punch as quickly as the pirate blocked his.

On the deck of the ship, several crew members were having a gunfight
with the pirates still on board their own vessel. The first mate
fired his side arm and successfully hit one of the pirates in the
head, and his body fell into the dark waters below.

Meanwhile, James took the fight out on the ships decks. He flipped
the pirate over, who surprisingly got back up. As soon as he got back
up, the fedora-wearing James kicked him again and again in the face
and the stomach, forcing him farther down the deck. James gave one
final kick to the jaw, knocking him to the ground.

Hehehe... I kicked some ass! James thought as he smirked.

But that smile vanished as, out of nowhere, a black leather book
smacked him in the face. James fell down and rolled down the ramp and
down into all the passengers and the pirates holding them at gunpoint.

Walking down the stairs was Tessa, the singer and the black
leather-clad figure who kicked James.

As soon as James stood up, Brett ran over to him, Meg was there, too.
He looked around as gun wielding pirates forced the passengers to
forfeit their watches, jewels, wallets and paper clips.

ìItís the singer!î Brett exclaimed.

As Tessa continued to walk down the stairs, she began to speak.

ìWe donít want to make your lives short. We just want your money,
your jewels...î Tessa stopped walking and looked at all the frightened
passengers, then continued her sentence,îyour gold. My name is Tessa,
and this is my first mate, Goodsport!î Tessa pointed to a shirtless,
brawny man with huge biceps.

Goodsport walked forward (besides Tessa, he was the only pirate who
was not Chinese). He flexed his arms for the passengers, who gawked
as his muscles bulged bigger than anything they had ever seen before.
Goodsport smiled as sweat dripped off his arms.

ìHoly shit!î were the only two words that escaped Brettís mouth at the
sight of this massive hulk.

A pirate went to Meg and yanked her bag.

ìNo! Itís mine!!î Meg screamed.

Tessa, meanwhile, walked up to Indy Magnoli, reached in his shirt
pocket, and silently pulled out a wad of money. Seeing this, Abner
stepped forward. Tessa drew out her gun and shot poor Abner, who
collapsed amidst many shrieks and hollars.

Brett and James looked back at Meg, who was still fighting over the
bag with the pirate.

ìMeg, give him the bag!î James yelled.

ìYes, give it up!î Brett agreed.

ìNO!î Meg screamed as the pirate took her bag and dumped itís contents
on the ground.

A few clothes came out and to Brett and Jamesí surprise, the box!

Brett turned to James and screamed in astonishment. ìShe had the
box!!î

Meg took a dive for the box, but the pirate picked it up and dumped it
with the other valuables.

Goodsport investigated James to see if he had anything of value. He
patted his pockets and then finally noticed the key to the box that
was hanging around his neck. He gave a big, semi-toothless grin and
made use of his massive muscles as he ripped the key from Jamesí neck.

ìNow they have the key!î Brett screamed.

ìJames, you had the key?î Meg said, standing up. ìYou were the ones
who attacked Webley at the temple!î

ìYou were the one who shot him in his room?î James asked.

ìHe was going to kill me! We were supposed to be partners!î Meg
exclaimed.

Goodsport noticed three of the other pirates trying to lower all of
the passengersí valuables into their pirate ship to little success.
Goodsport pushed back all three pirates aside, grabbed the rope and
raised and lowered the massive treasure bundle from the cruise ship to
the pirate ship.

Tessa walked over to the shipís railing, stood up on it and began to
speak. ìAttention! I would like to thank you for sharing your
considerable wealth with me, Goodsport, and the rest of my crew.
Sorry, I wonít be able to entertain you any longer!î With a smile,
Tessa back flipped and landed over at her own vessel. She hollered
something in Chinese, and the ship began moving. Goodsport gave a
semi-toothless grin, flexed his sweaty muscles, and jumped into the
ship also.

Meg looked over at the ship slowly sailing away. She decided to run
for it.

Brett looked over at James, and then ran off towards the lifeboats.
James followed.

ìShe had the box!î Brett exclaimed.

Meanwhile, the Chinese pirates began firing their weapons on the ship.
The first mate was back at it again, firing rounds at the fierce
pirates.

ìIt was in our room!!!î Brett yelled at James.

ìDonít worry about that now, all we need is a boat!î James said,
running forward. ìHereís one!î James said, pointing to a lifeboat
attached to the railings.

Back at the pirate ship, a cannon ignited, and blew apart the
lifeboat.

ìSo much for that one! Look there's one!î James said, pointing down
at a boat with Meg in it trying desperately to catch the pirate ship.

ìWhere is she going?î Brett asked.

ìHey Meg! Wait up!î James said as he climbed over the rails and
jumped into the boat.

ìDonít try and stop me, Jimmy! Iím not losing that action figure!î
Meg yelled.

ìAh to hell with this!î Brett muttered as he too jumped over the rail
and landed on the boat.

ìThe action figure is ours!î Brett yelled.

ìI have no time to sit and argue, get out of my boat!!î screamed Meg
at her two unwelcomed visitors.

ìI throw you overboard!î Brett screamed back.

ìNo! Brett! No!î James yelled, holding his angry brother back. ìNow
look, why donít you climb back on the boat! you canít handle these
pirates by yourself!î James said to Meg.

ìWe are losing the pirate ship!î Brett screamed.

ìMaybe we can make a deal! We can split it three ways! Thereís
plenty for all of us!î Meg stated.

ìWe donít want to share! Dump her out, James!î Brett motioned to his
brother.

ìBrett, I canít do that!î James said.

ìThat pirate ship is getting away!î


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