The exciting conclusion of The Lambert Bros. and the Quest for the 12 Inch Indy Action Figure

Posted by Indiana James (Lambert) from 209.5.179.16 on September 27, 1999 at 15:04:08:

Chapter 8

Aragorn, Brett and James were aboard the ship taking them straight
India. Goodsport was in an adjacent cabin, now dressed as a normal
passenger after knocking out one of them. Somehow, he looked
extremely out of place in the suit and tie that he was wearing. Of
course, his arms were way too huge to fit inside itís sleeves, but he
did the best he could.

The ship finally made it to India. When getting of, there were
hundreds of Hinduís lined around in Turbans. Many Hinduís were trying
to sell spices, trinkets and clothing to tourists on the street.

ìRich American!! Buy this Jookie sock! Bring you great luck!î yelled
one street merchant as he held up a sock marked with the 'Jookie'
stamp of approval.

ìNo thanks! Not interested! And Iím Canadian,î replied Brett.

ìThen rich American! Buy this Pokemon action figure! I got a new
Peekachu!î

Brett boiled up. He was severely pissed off. ìPOKEMON!!! YOU
BASTARD!!î

Brett punched him out and knocked over his stand.

ìBrett, Brett, letís move along,î James said trying to get him away
from trouble.

ìLetís go get something to eat, okay?î suggested Aragorn.

The two broke for lunch and had some pitas with cous-cous and other
fine East Indian food. Aragorn also managed to guzzle some Mountain
Dew.

Meanwhile, Goodsport was seated behind them breaking for lunch as
well, flexing his muscles as he ate.

ìSo whereís the Temple?î Brett asked.

ìAbout two miles outside of the city I believe,î answered James.

ìGood. Letís get on the move,î announced Aragorn. ìTimeís a
wasting.î

The three took off and arranged for horses and supplies and headed for
the temple.

Goodsport now wasnít the only thing that would complicate the trioís
dreams, there was a secret agent tracking the whereabouts of the
action figure. His name was Indiana Jerico. He walked over to the
nearest payphone and inserted a dime.

ìDeirdre? Jerico here. I think youíd better get over here to New
Delhi. Some guys are about to get the prized action figure. Youíd
better get here and weíll intercept the figure and the fortune will be
all ours! Bye baby!î reported Indiana Jerico.

***

Meanwhile, at the Temple, Aragorn and the Lambertís were digging and
chiselling away to find the action figure. They dug until they found
what looked to be the location of the action figure. It was a plaque
of Darth Vaderís face. It was embedded inside the wall.

ìThis looks to be something buddies!!î exclaimed Aragorn.

ìNeat! A Darth Vader mask!î said Brett. ìBut how does that lead to
our action figure?î

ìItís part of Lucasfilmís greatest triumph, Brettî answered James.
James pulled down on the Darth Vader mask.

This caused the other wall to move around, unveiling the prized action
figure.

ìThe action figure! Itís now ours! YIPPEE!!î Brett yelled with
enthusiasm.

The three went to this wall and took a closer look. It was exactly 12
inches, exactly how it was documented. It was the most accurate
rendering of the archaelogist ever known to man. Brett went and
picked up the action figure. Itís face looked exactly like Harrison
Ford. Inside the mini-satchel were several changes of mini-underwear.

James pulled out Indy's mini gun from the mini holster. He managed to
pull the mini-trigger and to his surprise, it fired a mini-bullet!

"Geez! Watch it with that thing!" Aragorn yelled.

"Ooops.." James said.

ìItís more beautiful than I ever imagined!î said Brett completely
spellbound.

ìAnd itís ours for the keeping!î said Aragorn.

ìWHOO!! WHOO!!î yelled James. But this celebration was short-lived,
because Goodsport walked in with a sinister toothless grin on his
face.

ìGoodsport?!? I thought you were killed by the headhunters?î James
said in disbelief.

ìItís that tribal impostor!!î concluded Aragorn. ìI knew something
was up with him! None of the others flex their muscles at
dinnertime!î

ìThe action figure is ours!!î Brett yelled. ìYou die Goodsport!î

Goodsport sidestepped slowly. He raised his arms and flexed his
muscles like no other time, getting ready for the big fight.

Brett passed the figure to James and he went up to the big brawny
Goodsport and punched him in the face, but that hardly did anything,
as Goodsport punched him in the face, sending him flying across the
room. He landed against the wall, extreme dazed, and with a bloody
nose. James punched Goodsport in the side, it hurt him a little bit,
but ësport kicked him in the nuts, giving James huge pain.

Aragorn picked up a shovel and hit Goodsport in the back of his legs.
This caught him by surprise, and he was knocked to his knees. Brett
regained his strength and kicked Goodsport in the jaw. Blood started
coming out of his mouth and a few teeth chipped. The trio thought
they had won when all of a sudden Goodsport resurged and punched poor
Aragorn in the chest, taking away Aragornís breath temporarily. James
picked himself up and gave Goodsport a good kick to the ass, assisted
by Brett headbutting him. Finally Aragorn got up and threw Goodsport
against the wall. James went up to knee him but Goodsport grabbed
hold of Jamesí knee and flipped him over. Brett picked up a hammer
and went straight for Goodsport. He ducked from the shot and gave
Brett an upper-cut punch. Aragorn picked up his trusty shovel and hit
Goodsport in the knees, and then his nuts, and finally in the head,
sending Goodsport through the thick wall into the next room. The blow
to the head from both the shovel and crashing through the thick wall
and eventually hitting his head on the hard floor was enough to kill
Goodsport. Aragorn helped James and Brett up.

ìSo glad itís over!î Brett sighed in relief.

ìYeah, letís get the action figure and get home!î commanded Aragorn.

James picked up the figure. ìLetís go!î

Before they could leave, two more people entered. More trouble! It
was none other than Indiana Jerico and Deirdre Campbell, here to
snatch up the action figure. Indiana Jerico was armed with a handgun,
and Deirdre, curiously appeared to be unarmed.

ìNow, we will take what is ours!î said Indiana Jerico.

ìWho the hell are you?î Brett asked.

ìI am Deirdre. This is my agent, Indiana Jerico. Hand over the
action figure!î commanded Deirdre.

ìNever!î yelled Aragorn.

Aragorn went up to her and took a punch at her. Deirdre was a martial
arts expert, so she easily blocked that punch. Deirdre did a back
kick and brought down Aragorn easily. James did a flip like Obi-Wan
in "The Phantom Menace" and landed right behind her. The trio did
battle. Meanwhile, Brett went for Jerico, trying to confiscate his
gun.

James twirled one revolution and kicked Deirdre in the face, knocking
Deirdre back off her feet. She got back up and kicked James in the
groin.

ìNot again!î James groaned.

Brett and Jerico were having a tug-of-war between the handgun. Brett
finally took it from Jerico, but Jerico kicked the gun out of his
hand, throwing it on the floor. Aragorn jumped into the battle and
punched Jerico in the face. Jerico was knocked to the ground.
Aragorn and Brett were standing side by side, fists in the air ready
for the next move when Jerico got up.

Meanwhile James and Deirdre were in the middle of a ferocious battle.
James took Deirdre by the hand and flipped her over. Deirdre
rebounded and kicked James in the stomach. James then elbowed her in
the side and threw her against the wall.

Jerico got back up and pounced on Brett, now having a firm hold on
him. Jerico started choking Brett with his bare hands. Aragorn
didnít know what to do. Brett was turning blue. Then Aragorn saw the
gun in the corner. He picked it up, aimed the trigger at Jericoís
heart and fired. Jerico fell back. He was dead.

James and Deirdre were still fighting. Deirdre now with the upper
hand. She had pulled a Xenia Onatopp and started choking James with
her lovely thighs.

ìWhy?!?î James yelled. ìWell, there are worse ways to go when you
think of it!î

ìLetís put an end to this one,î said Brett. ìAragorn! Pass me that
gun!î

Aragorn passed Brett the gun. Brett aimed at her head and shot her,
putting an end to Deirdre.

ìYou saved my life, Brett. Thank God!î James said trying to catch his
breath.

ìNo prob, bro! Come on letís get out of her before anymore interested
parties show up!î replied Brett.

ìYou said it!î exclaimed Aragorn. ìCome on!î

Brett picked up the action figure and the three walked out of the
temple and started to ride their horses.

ìThis way to home! Follow me, I know the way! Haha!î exclaimed Brett
galloping off, nearly losing his balance on the horse, almost falling
off.

ìGot lost in his own museum, huh?î Aragorn asked.

James gave a look of confusion and then smiled. ìWhat are you talking
about?î

ìJust trying to fill in some lines! Haha!î

The two laughed their heads off.

ìWell, James? Ready to go?î Aragorn asked.

ìYes sir! Hyah!î James said as he pulled down his fedora as he and
Aragorn galloped off.

The three of them rode off on their horses in the sunset with the
prized Indy action figure heading for home.

THE END

===========

Well that's it folks!!! I hope you had as good

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