In the owrds of Han Solo: "Don't lose your temper!"

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Posted by Brett (Maverick) Lambert from 209.5.179.14 on October 15, 1999 at 21:42:56:

In Reply to: Oh, REALLY now?!? [with corrected italics] posted by Goodsport on October 15, 1999 at 21:01:32:

: : Again no offense to Goodsport, but I was EXTREMELY letdown by the outcome of the Stranger on the Plane story, it started out so great and that got bogged down by WAY TOO MANY characters, it was almost impossible to keep up with (partly the reason why my Chapter 55 was so screwed up in terms of continuity), and the brother revelation at the end. COME ON!!! Please! And how can it be written that I am Brett Round and Short Round is Short Lambert, when 5 years later in this timeline in Shorty's fan fic, it's discovered that all three of us are Lambert Bros. And people thought my Chapter 55 didn't make sense....

: : -------------------


: Makes any more sense than Sauron (who's literally a demon!!! Don't believe me? Read the 'Lord of the Rings' books) coming back in a cloning machine?!? And later wrestling with mortals and being beat up by pipes (or something to that effect)?!? He's NOT like Emperor Palpatine in RoTJ, who was a man who gave in to the Dark Side... actally in the Tessa story, Saruman (a.k.a. The Chosen) would fit that category. Sauron, on the other hand, IS (or WAS, since he was destroyed) the Dark Side (or at least the embodiement of it!), and the only reason why he didn't go out to do to the entire world what Tessa did to us in the volcano (she was under the influence of the One Ring of Power) was that he needed that Ring. Why, you may ask? Again, read the 'Lord of the Rings' books!

First off, let me just say that not everyone here is very familiar with the Lord of the Rings series. So, it is kinda inevitable that Sauron or Sauraman could be portrayed like Palpatine from Star Wars.

: And how the heck did the Phoenix Group (a super-secret U.S. Government espionage agency, nothing bigger than that) and the Dark World Order (basically, a secret group hiding behind Nobody's Corporation... hence, his Corporate building in Chicago and not a military base!!!) both go from secret organizations to becoming the Army, Navy, Air Force and Marines all rolled up into one??? How would NATO even allow that to happen??? And in only five years?!?!?

I can't speak for that portion, I guess it just evolved into a super-base, and not all things in real life apply in this story (and if that were so, then this whole LotR stuff would never be taking place!)

: The one thing I may have goofed on was what Shorty had mentioned to me before... he asked me how Brett and him were switched in the maternity ward if they were ten years apart. HUH?!? When in the Tessa story were the ages (or even age group) of Brett and Indiana James ever come up??? That was never written or even implied to (and the fact that Brett did *AHEM* with a stewardess inside the one-person bathroom of a commercial airplane still doesn't necesarily reveal age - not these days, unfortunately)... even though Shorty's age was never actually revealed in the story, he made it clear out of the story that he was 13/14 or so. That NEVER came up with the Brett and Indiana James characters. Perhaps an explanation for that could be written in the next chapter of Shorty's DWO story... perhaps Sauron (before he died) had appeared to Indiana James Lambert as Gandalf and lied to him... thus in truth, you three really ARE brothers (of course, that would mean that the three of you are either Brett Lambert/Indiana James Lambert/Short Lambert or Brett Round/Indiana James Round/Short Round... you three are brothers, after all!). Be creative!

Okay, this is the part that I really am annoyed about! Okay, Shorty always pictures himself about ten years younger than us in the story. That's his vision. I like to think of the story as us in REAL ages, it makes it easier for me to invision everything, first off it was meant to be that you would put hints that the three of us could be related LAMBERT BROS. (what Shorty told me) not thrown right at us that Brett is a Round family member, and Short stuff is a Lambert. But you needn't worry about that, Short Round tells me he's got something to explain the whole curve you've thrown at the story in future chapters. But if you were to make one of the Lambert's switched, a more appropriate choice would be James, since they are the same age. Plus, since when did age have to be clarified in the story? I always thought it was assumed that everyone is their age pretty much and clarification would not be necessary since everyone knows how old each other is

: The Tessa story didn't have too many characters, and that wasn't the problem. The problem was that once everyone got into Valinor (after Chapter 54), it seemed like since almost none of the authors were familiar with 'The Lord of the Rings' universe, they started writing about everything except Valinor. Not their faults, I guess, although a whole chunk of the story beforehand dealt with finding Valinor. As a matter of fact, that Valinor was added into the story actually gave it a direction and a purpose, which quite frankly made things clearer (otherwise, why were we all running around in the beginning of the story? Why was Tessa being sought after? Etc.), which was pretty Indiana Jones-ish at times!

Actually, yes, there are too many characters. All the time, there would be someone new added in by your chapter's. It would've been much more clear if just the principle players were put in, not this constant intros of Krede, Joe, Quint, Tom Bombadil, Mikal, and the fan-fic Indiana Jones family, just way too many for people to keep up with, to much to balance out. Now, I know you don't think the story is too complicated but from the outsider's point of view, it's one big huge mess. It's become way too hard to follow, just compare one of the early chapters to one of the latest chapters, those chapters were much more clear and concise, the later ones were too complicated (that's why you always had to ask "But what about...?" whenever people missed out elements of the story, there was just too much to handle).

But don't get me wrong, I did enjoy the story, but those last chapters really put a negative spin on it all for me, and Chapter 64 felt a little too contrived. But I don't really want to dump on the story too much since it's inspired me to write (I never would have done my fan fic if it weren't for this), I just wish it ended better. When U said a month or so back "Now let's get this thing finished! I would rather see it end with a bang than go out with a whimper, for me it did the latter. :( I'm sorry, Goodsport, that's just how I feel about it. All I hope for is that the next big forum novel can have a better turn out (and let's stray from the LoTR stuff a little to avoid redundancy and not everyone knows the series quite like you do).

: And in the end, Shorty won the heart of the beautiful Michaela (Micki) Jones (Indiana Jones' granddaughter, for crying out loud!), and Goodsport went home quiet and alone. So what does Shorty have to complain about?!? :D

: Sorry if I sound harsh - I just wanted to clear up any confusion about the Tessa story (if there was any)! In all fairness, I can overlook the questionable points in the DWO story if you can the questionable stuff in the Tessa story... after all, according to Chapter 64, the whole Tessa story was just a dream.

:
: -G



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