IJatIFoD (AYE-JAT-IF-OD) Chapters 0-5

Posted by Shaggy from cx643543-a.msnv1.occa.home.com on February 03, 2000 at 19:56:00:

For all you people that want to stop world wide poking, here's the first 5 chapters and introduction. I did the intro, 1, 2, and 4. Indy's girl did chapters 3 and 5, very nicely, I might add.

INTRODUCTION
Northern San Francisco, U.S., 1967
It was a humid night in San Francisco, not usual for the almost-metropolis of culture and love in America.
A teenager wearing a white button up shirt and tight fitting blue jeans walked towards an average beatnik pub as a trolley car whizzed past, sending a puddle into what was known as a puddle magnet then: a fur coat.
The teenager shook his head as he walked by the woman in the drenched animal skin and continued into the pub. His dark hair and somewhat dark skin blended in with the smoggy atmosphere. A stench of scum and cigarette smoke filled the air, making the dark teen's nose flare. He made his way past the bar and to the coat rack, picking up a black trench coat and pulling dark glasses onto his hazel eyes.
He struggled into the coat while walking to a brown spot in the pub's cinderblock wall and raised one of his brown hiking boots.
A smash was heard as he kicked through the wall. The smoking patrons all turned and stared at the mysterious 16 year-old’s back. An old man looked over at the boy and walked after him, but the kid ducked into the hole in the wall he just made.
The old man peered through the hole to see nothing, only blackness. He knew the building was about a hundred years old, or at least the location of the building was, but he didn't know about any brown spot. He lit a match and stuck his hand in, and withdrew it in disgust.
His hand was full of chalk and lime stone slime water, which he first thought was human bile. It wasn't any secret passage, it was a link directly to the sewer!
The boy made his way in thigh deep feces water, covering his nose with his trench coat, through the underearth stink hole. He passed 6 passages and jumped, landing at the tail end of a water fall.
The boy fell underwater and began swimming, the smell of the water burning his eyes as he made his way to an underwater passage. A sort of filter straight to the Pacific. He was sucked into the hole in the wall and reached deep into his coat.
He pulled out a bo into his right hand and put it over his head like a propeller. The bo was caught on the edge of the sewer system decoy path a few seconds later, and with all his strength, the boy pulled himself into the only dry space in the damned catacombs. The black iron bo came after him.
The bo, a majestic weapon, was perfected by the Chinese for use in Kobojutsu, the art of the sword. It was held in the middle with both hands and angled as to strike an opponent. Some fisherman put large crab-like pincers on either end to finish off a large sea animal. The bo with the boy had, however, only had both sides sharpened to a point like a doubled British fencing sword and was collapsable and able to be locked out. The boy snapped the bo back into a smaller state so that it looked more like a small black cyllander and replaced it into his trench coat. He pulled out a lighter and moved down the dry tunnel haunched over like a sidekick from a Dracula movie.
When he reached his final destination, he was delighted.
Abner Ravenwood-Jones, or Shaggy Jones as he preferred to be called, had found the greatest damned anthropological find there was in the 150 year old city of San Francisco. He let out a howl and ran over to a skeleton with a knife stuck in the rib cage and his hands on the handle to inspect it.
"Hello, Mr. Corna, greed must've really killed The Cat, eh?" he softly said as he pulled the final map piece from the antique skeleton's last remaining shread of clothes.
The map lead to the "Golden Mountains of Mexico," or the city of Chicemech. Not the city that Cortes was told about, El Dorado, but another city below the Earth that was showered with gold by the Aztec rain God Tlalocateuctli. The lost city, if it existed, could be the greatest archaeological and anthropological find since Troy. Something like this was like finding the lost continent of Atlantis!
A gun's hammer clicked behind the boy marveling at the map. His eyes widened and he looked up at the skeleton in it's eye sockets.
"Ah, young Mr. Jones," an old voice with a british accent said in a ghostly tone, "I see that you and your father found Julius Corna here first."
Shaggy turned toward the ghostly old man in a black tight shirt and khaki brown pants, the great grey beard flowing from his chin like a river of hair.
"Yeah, well, you're a lot slower than when I was 12, Hershey," the boy responded.
"Ha! I never slow, but you however, will now stop."
The man raised the gun to point directly at the boy's head, and being less than a meter away, the barrel was almost making an ident on the teenager's skull.
With lightning fast skill, the boy smacked the gun away from his head so the shot rang through the small false chamber and hit the skull of Julius Corna, making it shatter into dust and spray above Shaggy's head into Hershey's eyes.
The old man howled with pain and dropped his gun, trying to rub the fragments of bone out of his face. Shaggy took the opportunity to get his bo out and smack the switch to make the blades come out of the cyllander. He didn't need to.
A chunk of the ceiling chipped off, smacking the bearded old man in the head and bringing a gush of water into the chamber. All due to the bullet he had fired. The old man fell and was swept into raging feces current. With a scream of terror and defeat, he was gone.
Young Shaggy had another problem to worry about, though: the room was flooding.
He turned around in the sewer, searching for options and saw a way out.
The hole in the wall with the skeleton made it so a light could be seen shining into the room. The slush of dirty water was now up to his kneecaps.
Shaggy squared himself up and pounded the false wall with all his weight, but little happened. He saw the knife in Corna's rib cage and proceeded to draw it out to chip the wall away. But when he turned it, the wall opened up on it's own, revealing a room with a glass ceiling.
An underground construction site. Still no way out, though, and he couldn't let the workers see him or he'd be arrested. The room filled up with water as he jumped out. He made his way over to a nearby manhole, opened it up and made his way in.
A worker turned to his partner in the bright orange hard hat and made a face that said, “What did you eat?”
I
"Dad!" Shaggy said triumphantly, braving rough stares as the odor of the sewer was still on his person in the hotel lobby, as he burst through the lavish studio, "Dad, I got it!"
Dr. Henry "Indiana" Jones, Jr. came out of the bathroom in his robe into the living room, cupped his hand over his nose and looked at his son.
"Whatever you have, it doesn’t smell like flowers," the 67 year old man stated. His cheeks were wrinkled and hair bright white, with a small bald patch on top of his head. His back had gotten a little weaker than in his younger years, too. Other than that, the old man was in perfect health.
"The last piece of the puzzle, pop. I told you I could do it," came a very cocky reply.
"Ah..." Indiana said, sitting in his robe on a blue leather couch, looking up at his son, "You had no business, Abne- sorry, Shaggy. Do you know what danger you put yourself in? I could've lost you!"
"Oh, Dad. You sound like grandpa when you say things like that, now take a look at this."
Shaggy, acting as nonchalant as possible in front of his mentor, was actually exploding with joy on the inside. His greatest want in life was to make his father say something like, "Nice job, son," or "Why don't you tag along?" He took the aged piece of cloth out of his pants and set it in the correct spot on what was already made of the map on a ruffy board. The map to the city of the golden mountain was now complete.
"Who knows what else we might find from this thing, Dad? The Ark of the Covenant? The Towers of Babel?" and then clasping a somewhat clean hand on his father's shoulder, Shaggy said, "The Holy Grail?"
"The Ark's in the U.S. government's hands, the towers of babel were destroyed and the Holy Grail's lost forever in H'alecandretta," came a mumbled reply.
"Huh?"
"Nevermind, that. And what's this 'we' stuff, kid? There's no chance in Hell that you're going on this expedition, Shaggy. It's just me and 2 or 3 students that I deem fit. You had no right to put yourself in danger. What if Janus Hershey came after you or there was some sort of trap?"
"Uh, Dad... I don't think we have to worry about Hershey anymore."
"What?"
"He came after me... Some sort of... eh... trap did him in," a sort of uneasiness filled the teen's speech.
"And you made it past all that, boy?"
"I even looked Corna in the eye. Sort of. Eye socket. The walls in the sewer chamber were kinda fake, pop."
Indiana just sighed and sat back on the couch. He nodded toward the bathroom.
"You smell like a sword thrower I once knew. Hit the shower, son. We have a plane to catch.”
II
When they finally got to Cambridge, Marion Ravenswood-Jones was almost done screaming at her husband about putting ideas in their son’s head.
“Marion, you know I can’t do my old globe-trotting nowadays…”
“So you’ll let your son do it for you, you bastard?”
“You know you’re beautiful when you’re angry.”
“You know I’m more beautiful now than when I was 16?”
“The boy wants to go, sweetheart,” he said, speeding up the Ford.
“Oh yeah? What are you after this time? The… the… shield of Tututiticaca?” Marion said, her lack of archeological knowledge showing through her teeth.
“No, actually, the lost city of Tt…” Henry stopped himself from sounding silly, “Never mind. The point is that archeology has gone the way of astronomy. Everyone was making up myths and having adventures in the stars and we didn’t know anything about them, but now, stars are just a bunch of balls of gases. Archeology is research, Marion, reading. Studying and analyzing if we’re lucky. There are no lost cities, there are no forgotten cultures, there are no ancient languages, it’s just fact, and the fact is, Marion, that X never, ever marks the spot.”
“So what you’re saying is that archeology is an exact science?”
“Exactly!”
“Belloq seemed to disagree with you.”
“And now Belloq is dead, and I’m still alive.”
“Fine, you win, you big jerk. Why did I ever marry you?”
Jones stopped the car on the side of the road.
“Because, Marion, I love you.”
“Oh, Indy…”
“Besides, there’s just one relic that I think is in that city.”
“Indy…”
“Yes.”
“What in the Hell do you think is important enough to fool me into one of your college speeches to get my…”
“…our.”
“…OUR son to endanger his life?”
"Something that Coronado, Cortez, Listo, Fererre..."
"Get on with it, Indy."
"...could only dream of finding. The fountain of youth, Marion."
"Oh."
There was a sudden silence as Henry continued driving, Indy looked all around himself. He thought that if he actually believed that the fountain was real, then he was as crazy as Marion's Dad or Belloq was about the Ark.
"Indy?" Marion suddenly broke the silence, and being in deep thought, Indy swerved across the road, cursing at himself.
"What do you want, sweetheart?!" Henry said, trying to stay on the road.
"Keep your eyes on the road, Jones!"
"I know, Marion!"
A truck swerved past them. Indy slammed the brake, but nothing happened.
"Indy!"
"Marion! What?"
"What?"
"What is it Marion!"
"Why aren't you stopping!? Hit the brake, you bastard!"
"The brake isn't working, Marion, but at least the road is flattening out."
They broke through a farmer's fence and were heading straight for a cow. Marion stuck her head out the window and started to wave it off in a panic.
Jones braced for impact, but nothing happened. They had stopped in a puddle of mud, sending Marion out the window from the sudden stop.
"Marion!"
The doctor got out and tredged through the mud to find his love covered in mud and laughed, almost maniacally.
"Shut up, Jones," Marion pouted through gritted teeth, "After you pay for those brakes, you're paying for my dress. And..."
She pulled him down into the mud.
"..a new jacket."
They both broke into a fit of senile laughter, hugging and kissing passionately. Indy pulled back suddenly.
"Where did we have to be, again?"
"Don't worry about it, Jones, we'll talk about it in the morning."
She wrapped her legs around him and kissed him passionately as the cow gave off a moo before falling asleep standing in front of their car.
Chapter III
The sentence, ‘How did I end up working with so many insane people?’ went through Abner's mind every few minutes at the Historical Society's Personal museum. A man with a large scar down his face, wearing a bullet proof vest and a dagger on his belt to his right, and a fair skinned woman with dark hair and an eccentric look in her eye to his left. They were following Dr. Chen down a hall filled with Egyptian and Arabian ahnks with a onyx trove every few feet, all 3 trying to make out the Doctor's broken English.
“Are you getting any of this?” The 21-year old woman whispered to Shaggy. He nodded slightly.
“We almost there,” Dr. Chen said to the three young adults. He led them into a white room. There was a table in the middle, and a projector aimed at one of the walls.
“Please sit,” Short Round said as he fed a slide into the projector. “Where’s Indy?” He asked Shaggy.
“I don’t know, he must have gotten caught up somewhere.” Shorty nodded and then addressed the entire group.
“You all come here for me to tell you about the legendary Fountain of Youth, before you leave. You know the Fountain is said to be imaginary, but that no stop Dr. Jones from looking for it. It make old people young, and heal all sicknesses. Spanish explorers look for it a long time ago, but they no find it. People have looked for it for centuries, but no one has found it and lived.”
“Which is why we’re here,” the man sitting across from Shaggy said excitedly. Abner looked at him with amusement. His name was Alex. He was 22 years old and one of Indiana’s best students. He wore olive green baggy pants, a bullet proof vest over a long sleeved black shirt, and the foot long dagger was kept in a holster on his belt. He had tall, brown boots on, and his ear-length dark blonde hair was going in all directions.
“Yes,” Dr. Chen said absently. He turned off the lights and turned on the projector.
“These are pictures of what the fountain may look like.” He clipped on several shots of regular looking fountains.
“You said no one has ever found it and lived. Does that mean someone has found it?” The young woman asked.
“Maybe. About 30 years ago, some lady say her husband found the Fountain, but he die of injuries before he could tell anyone but her about it.”
Shaggy looked over at the young women sitting beside him. She had on black pants and a white blouse, and had glasses that accented her dark eyes. Her straight black hair fell to her shoulders, and she sat forward, interested.
“Is she still alive?”
“She was alive 3 years ago, maybe she dead now.”
All four looked up when they heard a knock on the door.
“Dr. Jones!” Short Round exclaimed excitedly, turned on the lights, and ran forward to greet Indiana who was standing in the doorway.
“Good to see you again, Shorty,” Indy said and gave the doctor a brief hug. “Sorry I’m late, I got a little…preoccupied yesterday.” The two students and Shaggy walked forward.
“Alex, Ana, how are you?” he said and shook both of their hands. “Shaggy,” he said and gave the 17 year old a half hug.
“Where’s Mom?” Abner asked.
“She wanted to stay in the hotel, said she didn’t want to come out and get mixed up in another adventure. I’m sure she’ll show up sooner or later though. Hopefully. She made me walk, she took the car. So, what’s happening so far?”
“I think that we’ve come to the conclusion that the Fountain of Youth isn’t anywhere, not in any lost, or found, city, but we’re going to look for it anyway,” Alex said with a tone of sarcasm in his voice.
“Great! That’s how all good adventures start out!” Indy said enthusiastically

Chapter IV
Alex laughed. Hard. What Shaggy had said to him was the most amusing thing that he could've heard all day long. He didn't need to hear that lecture. Alex grew up in Southern Nyemova, just east of Estonia. His accent was gone, and he spoke 6 languages. No one would be able to tell that he was Russian if he didn't have a Soviet symbol tattoo'd on his belly. His great grandfather, a Cossack, his grandfather, a leader in the Communist revolt, his father, a Relic hunter for Mother Russia. For at least 4 generations, Alex Kublev's family had been rebels, whether they were rebelling against the Romanovs or rebelling against a common way of life, they were rebels. And so was Alex. He had seen his father gun ho it into Africa, killing many people and destroying precious artifacts to get the golden sword of whatshisface or the ornate coffin of whoshername, and once told his father to stop, but that was how he got the scar on his face. He wanted to become an archeologist so he could save what his father would've destroyed, so, in a way, Alex was rebelling against his father's way of life.
"No, I didn't get this scar from your Father's whip, it was from my great grandfather's knout at my father's hands," Alex replied with a chuckle.
"Yikes, that's harsh, brother. You know my Dad got a scar from that whip? Right across the chin trying to get away from some animal, probably a snake or something. He hates snakes. Slimy little buggers, some can unhinge their jaws and swallow a person whole."
"I can understand that, I hate scorpions. They don't look that harmless, right? But one little sting from a black one's tail, and" he made a clap with his hands, "You're gone. My father died in my mother's arms like that, got into his sleeping bag. She tried to suck the poison out, bad idea. She died, too. I still remember..." Alex shuddered, "She was blue and cold... Like a stillborn trapped in purgatory..." He suddenly went silent and looked at his feet, leaning his elbows on his kneecaps in the plane. The woman across from them in the plane, who's name was Elaine Goldsmith, was listening intentively. She leaned over to pat Alex on the shoulder and found herself being slammed repetetively against the back of her lightly cushioned chair. Unaware of what was going on, she just jerked back and forth until she heard a *THOCK* and sat in her chair, dazed.
Alex stood up from his chair, shook his jaw around and looked apologetically at Elaine, "Sorry, instinct. Sorta runs in my family. Sorry."
"What go on back there, kiddie?" Dr. Chen called from the co-pilot's seat, Indy sitting next to him in the pilot's chair.
Shaggy moved from the position he had been in to right hook Alex and kneeled over at Elaine, who had fainted.
"Elaine, Elaine? Sweetheart, come on, talk to me," Shaggy said, nudging her shoulder and lightly slapping her cheek. When she didn't wake up, he yelled for Dr. Chen, who was in the cockpit. Dr. Chen started out of the cockpit, when he heard a second *THOCK*
Elaine had just slapped Shaggy, with full force, too.
"Uhn, what happened?" the amber eyed, celtic skinned girl of 19 cried, staring at the blurry figure of Shaggy Jones as Alex went into the cockpit to avoid anything awkward happening.
"It was Alex, he was startled when you made a hand towards him, sweety."
"Oh..." she didn't know what to say, so she played around with her long red hair and stared back at her book on Ancient Mexico. Shaggy moved next to her, a little bit allured by her so very, very American ways of rolling with the punches.
"Hey, what'cha reading?" he asked, putting an arm around on her shoulder, and happy he wasn't slapped again.
"I'm reading up on Chimelech, the city rained on by the local Aztec God."
"I'm in the mood for a history lesson," Shaggy replied, leaning in closer.
Elaine looked around, her eyes shifting around and her body starting to shake. Her high socks made her look a little out of place, and her hairband went over her somewhat large ears. Her 2 front teeth were chipped from when she fell headlong off a horse in her early years, and the spirit of existentialism was not in her with any other subject other than ancient civilizations of Mexico, Europe and Southern Asia. She wore a khaki dress that hugged her hips and the bottom of her knee caps, and a blouse made to make her breasts and shoulders look bigger, but failed when she covered them all up with her Irish grandma's knitted woolen sweater, buttoned only with a single oyster pearl at the neck. When she finally rustled up the courage to speak, it was a studdered whisper, giving Shaggy an excuse to lean in closer so their faces were inches apart. He forced her to look him in the eyes. "Ah... Ah... Well, supposedly it's showered with, ah, gold, so it has some qualities of the, um, ancient city of, uh, El Dorado, except that the people there abandoned it, oh, ah, because once everything turned to gold, it was considered worthless and unusable. See?" She pointed to a picture of a man cursing the rain god by shaking a wand at the clouds. Shaggy shook his head, signifying he didn't completely understand. "Think about it: They can't use it to make food because it melts when hot, it's bad for using armor because it's easily pierced, and it shines brightly in the Sun, but they couldn't drink it, so it must be cursed by the Sun God. They high tailed it, um, into Teoti... Teotihuacan soon after, which is famous for it's pyramid to the sun. A, ah, coincidence you're Dad and I both find very unlikely to be a, um, coincidence. However, if we actually find the city, which I have no, eh, doubt will take years of struggle just to get a grant, a legend says that a map will tell us, ah, where the fountain is."
"Fountain?"
"Of youth. Isn't this exciting, Mr. Jones?"
"Holy..."
"Watch you're mouth, I'm christian, Mr. Jones."
"Right, but one thing."
"What?"
"Don't call me Mr. Jones, call me Shaggy," he said with a coy wink as he leaned foreward, and closed his eyes, going in for a kiss. She shuddered and wrapped her arms around him, closing her eyes as well, waiting, but the plane shook and Shaggy was thrown back into his original seat, where he promptly put his seatbelt on, mumbling something about turbulance. Elaine's book dropped on the floor and she clumsily buckled her seatbelt, looking a little depressed at Shaggy.
In the cockpit, things were not so lovey-dovey.
"Luck never change when I with you, Docta Jones! You no listen me! You listen me," Chen was going off.
"I know, I live longer! Alex, take a seat or get in the back. Damn!" Indy pounded his control stick while Short Round was flipping switches and checking measurements, "It's stuck! Uh oh..."
"'Uh oh?'" Alex repeated, "'Uh oh!?' What do you mean 'Uh oh'?"
Shorty peered out the window and pointed, "That 'Uh oh.' That one big 'Uh oh.'" They were headed for a wall in one of the Sierra Occidental's mountains. "Day ga voo, Docta Jones."
"Shut up and help me out, Shorty. Alex, check for parachutes."
"We have 4 parachutes and there are 5 of us," came a quick respond.
"Rats. Shorty, get the kids out of here, if I make it, meet me in Teotihuacan. Tell Marion I loved her."
Alex saluted and Short Round nodded, they both took the parachutes and went into the passanger chamber. Jones watched the 4 jump out. The wall was closer, and the control stick moved, it just didn't have any effect on the plane pitch or roll. He looked out the window and realized he couldn't perform the old rubber raft trick he had done last time. The wall was ever closer, now he could make out tiny crevices in the stone...

Chapter V
30 feet from the wall. Indy shuddered and turned to the back of the plane. He quickly looked around and saw one of those little floatation devices. He grabbed it and looked to the open door of the plane.
He took the rope that was on the end of the float and tied it to the bar connected to the door.
“Holy shit…” he said in anticipation of what he was going to do. Then he jumped out the door, holding on tight to the float and hoping the plane wouldn’t blow up.
He fell down about 10 feet, and the plane made contact with the mountain. In a huge blast, the plane exploded. Something heavy hit Indiana’s head, and he fell down, down…
*
Shaggy landed in a heap on the ground, and heard 3 others land beside him. He pushed the parachute off of him and ran to Elaine, who was still untangling herself. He picked her up and kissed her deeply.
“Thank God you’re ok!” he said to her.
“What? I get no kiss?” Shorty said with a smile. Alex was slowly picking himself off the ground.
Shaggy suddenly looked up sadly. He couldn’t see the mountain from there because of the trees, but he could imagine what had happened. The other three looked up too, and they all stood there silently for a minute.
“Now what do we do?” Alex said quietly.
“Hello?” A voice made all four turn their heads. A tall young woman, about 17, stood about 30 feet away from them. She had on dark blue jeans and a light blue nylon jacket. She carried a bookbag on her back, and her light brown hair was pulled into a ponytail.
She jogged towards them when she saw their parachutes.
“Did you guys come out of an airplane?”
“Yes, plane crash into mountain,” Short Round said.
“You’re the only survivors?” she asked.
“Well, there were only five of us on the plane,” Elaine said, paused, and continued. “Yes, we’re the only survivors.”
“Oh.” She didn’t seem to know what to say, so Shaggy stepped forward.
“My name’s Shaggy, this is Elaine, Alex, and Dr. Chen,” he introduced.
“Short Round,” Dr. Chen corrected.
“My name’s Indigo. I was out hiking, my school was on a trip, and I kinda got lost. It’s really easy to get lost out here, the place is so big. So, where are you headed?”
“Well, we were heading to Teotihuacan with my father, but…”
“We still go. I tell Docta Jones we meet him there, so we still go. Indy always make it out alive.”
“I’m afraid you may be wrong this time, brother,” Alex said.
“Well, I’m sure someone at my camp knows the direction there, it’s just I don’t exactly know the way to my camp…”
Alex stepped forward. “We can help you.” He felt someone kick him in the back of the leg.
“Alex, we really don’t need to burden her with our presence,” Shaggy said through clenched teeth.
“Oh no, it’s no problem. Thanks a lot! It’s just…you guys aren’t serial killers or anything are you?”

*
Indiana Jones opened his eyes and the first thing he heard was a pounding. Then he realized that the pounding was inside his head. He tried to sit up but his head was throbbing. So he moved his eyes around. He found he was sitting on a straw hammock, strung between two trees. He was outside, but under a tent. From behind him, he heard a voice saying…
“Indiana Jones! Long time no see.”

Only you can stop the poking madness of Operation Pokemon Blue. So now what, people? Drop me an e-mail at Shagsworth@hotmail.com or reply here to join my militia... Err, the writing staff. ;)
-Shaggy

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: For all you people that want to stop world wide poking, here's the first 5 chapters and introduction.  I did the intro, 1, 2, and 4.  Indy's girl did chapters 3 and 5, very nicely, I might add.

: INTRODUCTION
: Northern San Francisco, U.S., 1967
: It was a humid night in San Francisco, not usual for the almost-metropolis of culture and love in America.
: A teenager wearing a white button up shirt and tight fitting blue jeans walked towards an average beatnik pub as a trolley car whizzed past, sending a puddle into what was known as a puddle magnet then: a fur coat.
: The teenager shook his head as he walked by the woman in the drenched animal skin and continued into the pub. His dark hair and somewhat dark skin blended in with the smoggy atmosphere. A stench of scum and cigarette smoke filled the air, making the dark teen's nose flare. He made his way past the bar and to the coat rack, picking up a black trench coat and pulling dark glasses onto his hazel eyes.
: He struggled into the coat while walking to a brown spot in the pub's cinderblock wall and raised one of his brown hiking boots.
: A smash was heard as he kicked through the wall. The smoking patrons all turned and stared at the mysterious 16 year-old’s back. An old man looked over at the boy and walked after him, but the kid ducked into the hole in the wall he just made.
: The old man peered through the hole to see nothing, only blackness. He knew the building was about a hundred years old, or at least the location of the building was, but he didn't know about any brown spot. He lit a match and stuck his hand in, and withdrew it in disgust.
: His hand was full of chalk and lime stone slime water, which he first thought was human bile. It wasn't any secret passage, it was a link directly to the sewer!
: The boy made his way in thigh deep feces water, covering his nose with his trench coat, through the underearth stink hole. He passed 6 passages and jumped, landing at the tail end of a water fall.
: The boy fell underwater and began swimming, the smell of the water burning his eyes as he made his way to an underwater passage. A sort of filter straight to the Pacific. He was sucked into the hole in the wall and reached deep into his coat.
: He pulled out a bo into his right hand and put it over his head like a propeller. The bo was caught on the edge of the sewer system decoy path a few seconds later, and with all his strength, the boy pulled himself into the only dry space in the damned catacombs. The black iron bo came after him.
: The bo, a majestic weapon, was perfected by the Chinese for use in Kobojutsu, the art of the sword. It was held in the middle with both hands and angled as to strike an opponent. Some fisherman put large crab-like pincers on either end to finish off a large sea animal. The bo with the boy had, however, only had both sides sharpened to a point like a doubled British fencing sword and was collapsable and able to be locked out. The boy snapped the bo back into a smaller state so that it looked more like a small black cyllander and replaced it into his trench coat. He pulled out a lighter and moved down the dry tunnel haunched over like a sidekick from a Dracula movie.
: When he reached his final destination, he was delighted.
: Abner Ravenwood-Jones, or Shaggy Jones as he preferred to be called, had found the greatest damned anthropological find there was in the 150 year old city of San Francisco. He let out a howl and ran over to a skeleton with a knife stuck in the rib cage and his hands on the handle to inspect it.
: "Hello, Mr. Corna, greed must've really killed The Cat, eh?" he softly said as he pulled the final map piece from the antique skeleton's last remaining shread of clothes.
: The map lead to the "Golden Mountains of Mexico," or the city of Chicemech. Not the city that Cortes was told about, El Dorado, but another city below the Earth that was showered with gold by the Aztec rain God Tlalocateuctli. The lost city, if it existed, could be the greatest archaeological and anthropological find since Troy. Something like this was like finding the lost continent of Atlantis!
: A gun's hammer clicked behind the boy marveling at the map. His eyes widened and he looked up at the skeleton in it's eye sockets.
: "Ah, young Mr. Jones," an old voice with a british accent said in a ghostly tone, "I see that you and your father found Julius Corna here first."
: Shaggy turned toward the ghostly old man in a black tight shirt and khaki brown pants, the great grey beard flowing from his chin like a river of hair.
: "Yeah, well, you're a lot slower than when I was 12, Hershey," the boy responded.
: "Ha! I never slow, but you however, will now stop."
: The man raised the gun to point directly at the boy's head, and being less than a meter away, the barrel was almost making an ident on the teenager's skull.
: With lightning fast skill, the boy smacked the gun away from his head so the shot rang through the small false chamber and hit the skull of Julius Corna, making it shatter into dust and spray above Shaggy's head into Hershey's eyes.
: The old man howled with pain and dropped his gun, trying to rub the fragments of bone out of his face. Shaggy took the opportunity to get his bo out and smack the switch to make the blades come out of the cyllander. He didn't need to.
: A chunk of the ceiling chipped off, smacking the bearded old man in the head and bringing a gush of water into the chamber. All due to the bullet he had fired. The old man fell and was swept into raging feces current. With a scream of terror and defeat, he was gone.
: Young Shaggy had another problem to worry about, though: the room was flooding.
: He turned around in the sewer, searching for options and saw a way out.
: The hole in the wall with the skeleton made it so a light could be seen shining into the room. The slush of dirty water was now up to his kneecaps.
: Shaggy squared himself up and pounded the false wall with all his weight, but little happened. He saw the knife in Corna's rib cage and proceeded to draw it out to chip the wall away. But when he turned it, the wall opened up on it's own, revealing a room with a glass ceiling.
: An underground construction site. Still no way out, though, and he couldn't let the workers see him or he'd be arrested. The room filled up with water as he jumped out. He made his way over to a nearby manhole, opened it up and made his way in.
: A worker turned to his partner in the bright orange hard hat and made a face that said, “What did you eat?” 
: I
: "Dad!" Shaggy said triumphantly, braving rough stares as the odor of the sewer was still on his person in the hotel lobby, as he burst through the lavish studio, "Dad, I got it!"
: Dr. Henry "Indiana" Jones, Jr. came out of the bathroom in his robe into the living room, cupped his hand over his nose and looked at his son.
: "Whatever you have, it doesn’t smell like flowers," the 67 year old man stated. His cheeks were wrinkled and hair bright white, with a small bald patch on top of his head. His back had gotten a little weaker than in his younger years, too. Other than that, the old man was in perfect health.
: "The last piece of the puzzle, pop. I told you I could do it," came a very cocky reply.
: "Ah..." Indiana said, sitting in his robe on a blue leather couch, looking up at his son, "You had no business, Abne- sorry, Shaggy. Do you know what danger you put yourself in? I could've lost you!"
: "Oh, Dad. You sound like grandpa when you say things like that, now take a look at this."
: Shaggy, acting as nonchalant as possible in front of his mentor, was actually exploding with joy on the inside. His greatest want in life was to make his father say something like, "Nice job, son," or "Why don't you tag along?" He took the aged piece of cloth out of his pants and set it in the correct spot on what was already made of the map on a ruffy board. The map to the city of the golden mountain was now complete.
: "Who knows what else we might find from this thing, Dad? The Ark of the Covenant? The Towers of Babel?" and then clasping a somewhat clean hand on his father's shoulder, Shaggy said, "The Holy Grail?"
: "The Ark's in the U.S. government's hands, the towers of babel were destroyed and the Holy Grail's lost forever in H'alecandretta," came a mumbled reply.
: "Huh?"
: "Nevermind, that. And what's this 'we' stuff, kid? There's no chance in Hell that you're going on this expedition, Shaggy. It's just me and 2 or 3 students that I deem fit. You had no right to put yourself in danger. What if Janus Hershey came after you or there was some sort of trap?"
: "Uh, Dad... I don't think we have to worry about Hershey anymore."
: "What?"
: "He came after me... Some sort of... eh... trap did him in," a sort of uneasiness filled the teen's speech.
: "And you made it past all that, boy?"
: "I even looked Corna in the eye. Sort of. Eye socket. The walls in the sewer chamber were kinda fake, pop."
: Indiana just sighed and sat back on the couch. He nodded toward the bathroom.
: "You smell like a sword thrower I once knew. Hit the shower, son. We have a plane to catch.” 
: II 
: When they finally got to Cambridge, Marion Ravenswood-Jones was almost done screaming at her husband about putting ideas in their son’s head.
: “Marion, you know I can’t do my old globe-trotting nowadays…”
: “So you’ll let your son do it for you, you bastard?”
: “You know you’re beautiful when you’re angry.”
: “You know I’m more beautiful now than when I was 16?”
: “The boy wants to go, sweetheart,” he said, speeding up the Ford.
: “Oh yeah? What are you after this time? The… the… shield of Tututiticaca?” Marion said, her lack of archeological knowledge showing through her teeth.
: “No, actually, the lost city of Tt…” Henry stopped himself from sounding silly, “Never mind. The point is that archeology has gone the way of astronomy. Everyone was making up myths and having adventures in the stars and we didn’t know anything about them, but now, stars are just a bunch of balls of gases. Archeology is research, Marion, reading. Studying and analyzing if we’re lucky. There are no lost cities, there are no forgotten cultures, there are no ancient languages, it’s just fact, and the fact is, Marion, that X never, ever marks the spot.”
: “So what you’re saying is that archeology is an exact science?”
: “Exactly!”
: “Belloq seemed to disagree with you.”
: “And now Belloq is dead, and I’m still alive.”
: “Fine, you win, you big jerk. Why did I ever marry you?”
: Jones stopped the car on the side of the road.
: “Because, Marion, I love you.”
: “Oh, Indy…”
: “Besides, there’s just one relic that I think is in that city.”
: “Indy…”
: “Yes.”
: “What in the Hell do you think is important enough to fool me into one of your college speeches to get my…”
: “…our.”
: “…OUR son to endanger his life?”
: "Something that Coronado, Cortez, Listo, Fererre..."
: "Get on with it, Indy."
: "...could only dream of finding. The fountain of youth, Marion."
: "Oh."
: There was a sudden silence as Henry continued driving, Indy looked all around himself. He thought that if he actually believed that the fountain was real, then he was as crazy as Marion's Dad or Belloq was about the Ark.
: "Indy?" Marion suddenly broke the silence, and being in deep thought, Indy swerved across the road, cursing at himself.
: "What do you want, sweetheart?!" Henry said, trying to stay on the road.
: "Keep your eyes on the road, Jones!"
: "I know, Marion!"
: A truck swerved past them. Indy slammed the brake, but nothing happened.
: "Indy!"
: "Marion! What?"
: "What?"
: "What is it Marion!"
: "Why aren't you stopping!? Hit the brake, you bastard!"
: "The brake isn't working, Marion, but at least the road is flattening out."
: They broke through a farmer's fence and were heading straight for a cow. Marion stuck her head out the window and started to wave it off in a panic.
: Jones braced for impact, but nothing happened. They had stopped in a puddle of mud, sending Marion out the window from the sudden stop.
: "Marion!"
: The doctor got out and tredged through the mud to find his love covered in mud and laughed, almost maniacally.
: "Shut up, Jones," Marion pouted through gritted teeth, "After you pay for those brakes, you're paying for my dress. And..."
: She pulled him down into the mud.
: "..a new jacket."
: They both broke into a fit of senile laughter, hugging and kissing passionately. Indy pulled back suddenly.
: "Where did we have to be, again?"
: "Don't worry about it, Jones, we'll talk about it in the morning."
: She wrapped her legs around him and kissed him passionately as the cow gave off a moo before falling asleep standing in front of their car.
: Chapter III 
: The sentence, ‘How did I end up working with so many insane people?’ went through Abner's mind every few minutes at the Historical Society's Personal museum. A man with a large scar down his face, wearing a bullet proof vest and a dagger on his belt to his right, and a fair skinned woman with dark hair and an eccentric look in her eye to his left. They were following Dr. Chen down a hall filled with Egyptian and Arabian ahnks with a onyx trove every few feet, all 3 trying to make out the Doctor's broken English. 
: “Are you getting any of this?” The 21-year old woman whispered to Shaggy. He nodded slightly. 
: “We almost there,” Dr. Chen said to the three young adults. He led them into a white room. There was a table in the middle, and a projector aimed at one of the walls. 
: “Please sit,” Short Round said as he fed a slide into the projector. “Where’s Indy?” He asked Shaggy. 
: “I don’t know, he must have gotten caught up somewhere.” Shorty nodded and then addressed the entire group. 
: “You all come here for me to tell you about the legendary Fountain of Youth, before you leave. You know the Fountain is said to be imaginary, but that no stop Dr. Jones from looking for it. It make old people young, and heal all sicknesses. Spanish explorers look for it a long time ago, but they no find it. People have looked for it for centuries, but no one has found it and lived.”
: “Which is why we’re here,” the man sitting across from Shaggy said excitedly. Abner looked at him with amusement. His name was Alex. He was 22 years old and one of Indiana’s best students. He wore olive green baggy pants, a bullet proof vest over a long sleeved black shirt, and the foot long dagger was kept in a holster on his belt. He had tall, brown boots on, and his ear-length dark blonde hair was going in all directions. 
: “Yes,” Dr. Chen said absently. He turned off the lights and turned on the projector. 
: “These are pictures of what the fountain may look like.” He clipped on several shots of regular looking fountains. 
: “You said no one has ever found it and lived. Does that mean someone has found it?” The young woman asked. 
: “Maybe. About 30 years ago, some lady say her husband found the Fountain, but he die of injuries before he could tell anyone but her about it.”
: Shaggy looked over at the young women sitting beside him. She had on black pants and a white blouse, and had glasses that accented her dark eyes. Her straight black hair fell to her shoulders, and she sat forward, interested. 
: “Is she still alive?” 
: “She was alive 3 years ago, maybe she dead now.” 
: All four looked up when they heard a knock on the door. 
: “Dr. Jones!” Short Round exclaimed excitedly, turned on the lights, and ran forward to greet Indiana who was standing in the doorway. 
: “Good to see you again, Shorty,” Indy said and gave the doctor a brief hug. “Sorry I’m late, I got a little…preoccupied yesterday.” The two students and Shaggy walked forward. 
: “Alex, Ana, how are you?” he said and shook both of their hands. “Shaggy,” he said and gave the 17 year old a half hug. 
: “Where’s Mom?” Abner asked.
: “She wanted to stay in the hotel, said she didn’t want to come out and get mixed up in another adventure. I’m sure she’ll show up sooner or later though. Hopefully. She made me walk, she took the car. So, what’s happening so far?”
: “I think that we’ve come to the conclusion that the Fountain of Youth isn’t anywhere, not in any lost, or found, city, but we’re going to look for it anyway,” Alex said with a tone of sarcasm in his voice.
: “Great! That’s how all good adventures start out!” Indy said enthusiastically

: 
: Chapter IV
: Alex laughed. Hard. What Shaggy had said to him was the most amusing thing that he could've heard all day long. He didn't need to hear that lecture. Alex grew up in Southern Nyemova, just east of Estonia. His accent was gone, and he spoke 6 languages. No one would be able to tell that he was Russian if he didn't have a Soviet symbol tattoo'd on his belly. His great grandfather, a Cossack, his grandfather, a leader in the Communist revolt, his father, a Relic hunter for Mother Russia. For at least 4 generations, Alex Kublev's family had been rebels, whether they were rebelling against the Romanovs or rebelling against a common way of life, they were rebels. And so was Alex. He had seen his father gun ho it into Africa, killing many people and destroying precious artifacts to get the golden sword of whatshisface or the ornate coffin of whoshername, and once told his father to stop, but that was how he got the scar on his face. He wanted to become an archeologist so he could save what his father would've destroyed, so, in a way, Alex was rebelling against his father's way of life.
: "No, I didn't get this scar from your Father's whip, it was from my great grandfather's knout at my father's hands," Alex replied with a chuckle.
: "Yikes, that's harsh, brother. You know my Dad got a scar from that whip? Right across the chin trying to get away from some animal, probably a snake or something. He hates snakes. Slimy little buggers, some can unhinge their jaws and swallow a person whole."
: "I can understand that, I hate scorpions. They don't look that harmless, right? But one little sting from a black one's tail, and" he made a clap with his hands, "You're gone. My father died in my mother's arms like that, got into his sleeping bag. She tried to suck the poison out, bad idea. She died, too. I still remember..." Alex shuddered, "She was blue and cold... Like a stillborn trapped in purgatory..." He suddenly went silent and looked at his feet, leaning his elbows on his kneecaps in the plane. The woman across from them in the plane, who's name was Elaine Goldsmith, was listening intentively. She leaned over to pat Alex on the shoulder and found herself being slammed repetetively against the back of her lightly cushioned chair. Unaware of what was going on, she just jerked back and forth until she heard a *THOCK* and sat in her chair, dazed.
: Alex stood up from his chair, shook his jaw around and looked apologetically at Elaine, "Sorry, instinct. Sorta runs in my family. Sorry."
: "What go on back there, kiddie?" Dr. Chen called from the co-pilot's seat, Indy sitting next to him in the pilot's chair.
: Shaggy moved from the position he had been in to right hook Alex and kneeled over at Elaine, who had fainted.
: "Elaine, Elaine? Sweetheart, come on, talk to me," Shaggy said, nudging her shoulder and lightly slapping her cheek. When she didn't wake up, he yelled for Dr. Chen, who was in the cockpit. Dr. Chen started out of the cockpit, when he heard a second *THOCK*
: Elaine had just slapped Shaggy, with full force, too.
: "Uhn, what happened?" the amber eyed, celtic skinned girl of 19 cried, staring at the blurry figure of Shaggy Jones as Alex went into the cockpit to avoid anything awkward happening.
: "It was Alex, he was startled when you made a hand towards him, sweety."
: "Oh..." she didn't know what to say, so she played around with her long red hair and stared back at her book on Ancient Mexico. Shaggy moved next to her, a little bit allured by her so very, very American ways of rolling with the punches.
: "Hey, what'cha reading?" he asked, putting an arm around on her shoulder, and happy he wasn't slapped again.
: "I'm reading up on Chimelech, the city rained on by the local Aztec God."
: "I'm in the mood for a history lesson," Shaggy replied, leaning in closer.
: Elaine looked around, her eyes shifting around and her body starting to shake. Her high socks made her look a little out of place, and her hairband went over her somewhat large ears. Her 2 front teeth were chipped from when she fell headlong off a horse in her early years, and the spirit of existentialism was not in her with any other subject other than ancient civilizations of Mexico, Europe and Southern Asia. She wore a khaki dress that hugged her hips and the bottom of her knee caps, and a blouse made to make her breasts and shoulders look bigger, but failed when she covered them all up with her Irish grandma's knitted woolen sweater, buttoned only with a single oyster pearl at the neck. When she finally rustled up the courage to speak, it was a studdered whisper, giving Shaggy an excuse to lean in closer so their faces were inches apart. He forced her to look him in the eyes. "Ah... Ah... Well, supposedly it's showered with, ah, gold, so it has some qualities of the, um, ancient city of, uh, El Dorado, except that the people there abandoned it, oh, ah, because once everything turned to gold, it was considered worthless and unusable. See?" She pointed to a picture of a man cursing the rain god by shaking a wand at the clouds. Shaggy shook his head, signifying he didn't completely understand. "Think about it: They can't use it to make food because it melts when hot, it's bad for using armor because it's easily pierced, and it shines brightly in the Sun, but they couldn't drink it, so it must be cursed by the Sun God. They high tailed it, um, into Teoti... Teotihuacan soon after, which is famous for it's pyramid to the sun. A, ah, coincidence you're Dad and I both find very unlikely to be a, um, coincidence. However, if we actually find the city, which I have no, eh, doubt will take years of struggle just to get a grant, a legend says that a map will tell us, ah, where the fountain is."
: "Fountain?"
: "Of youth. Isn't this exciting, Mr. Jones?"
: "Holy..."
: "Watch you're mouth, I'm christian, Mr. Jones."
: "Right, but one thing."
: "What?"
: "Don't call me Mr. Jones, call me Shaggy," he said with a coy wink as he leaned foreward, and closed his eyes, going in for a kiss. She shuddered and wrapped her arms around him, closing her eyes as well, waiting, but the plane shook and Shaggy was thrown back into his original seat, where he promptly put his seatbelt on, mumbling something about turbulance. Elaine's book dropped on the floor and she clumsily buckled her seatbelt, looking a little depressed at Shaggy.
: In the cockpit, things were not so lovey-dovey.
: "Luck never change when I with you, Docta Jones! You no listen me! You listen me," Chen was going off.
: "I know, I live longer! Alex, take a seat or get in the back. Damn!" Indy pounded his control stick while Short Round was flipping switches and checking measurements, "It's stuck! Uh oh..."
: "'Uh oh?'" Alex repeated, "'Uh oh!?' What do you mean 'Uh oh'?"
: Shorty peered out the window and pointed, "That 'Uh oh.' That one big 'Uh oh.'" They were headed for a wall in one of the Sierra Occidental's mountains. "Day ga voo, Docta Jones."
: "Shut up and help me out, Shorty. Alex, check for parachutes."
: "We have 4 parachutes and there are 5 of us," came a quick respond.
: "Rats. Shorty, get the kids out of here, if I make it, meet me in Teotihuacan. Tell Marion I loved her."
: Alex saluted and Short Round nodded, they both took the parachutes and went into the passanger chamber. Jones watched the 4 jump out. The wall was closer, and the control stick moved, it just didn't have any effect on the plane pitch or roll. He looked out the window and realized he couldn't perform the old rubber raft trick he had done last time. The wall was ever closer, now he could make out tiny crevices in the stone...

: Chapter V
: 30 feet from the wall. Indy shuddered and turned to the back of the plane. He quickly looked around and saw one of those little floatation devices. He grabbed it and looked to the open door of the plane. 
: He took the rope that was on the end of the float and tied it to the bar connected to the door. 
: “Holy shit…” he said in anticipation of what he was going to do. Then he jumped out the door, holding on tight to the float and hoping the plane wouldn’t blow up. 
: He fell down about 10 feet, and the plane made contact with the mountain. In a huge blast, the plane exploded. Something heavy hit Indiana’s head, and he fell down, down…
: *
: Shaggy landed in a heap on the ground, and heard 3 others land beside him. He pushed the parachute off of him and ran to Elaine, who was still untangling herself. He picked her up and kissed her deeply.
: “Thank God you’re ok!” he said to her. 
: “What? I get no kiss?” Shorty said with a smile. Alex was slowly picking himself off the ground. 
: Shaggy suddenly looked up sadly. He couldn’t see the mountain from there because of the trees, but he could imagine what had happened. The other three looked up too, and they all stood there silently for a minute.
: “Now what do we do?” Alex said quietly. 
: “Hello?” A voice made all four turn their heads. A tall young woman, about 17, stood about 30 feet away from them. She had on dark blue jeans and a light blue nylon jacket. She carried a bookbag on her back, and her light brown hair was pulled into a ponytail.
: She jogged towards them when she saw their parachutes. 
: “Did you guys come out of an airplane?” 
: “Yes, plane crash into mountain,” Short Round said.
: “You’re the only survivors?” she asked.
: “Well, there were only five of us on the plane,” Elaine said, paused, and continued. “Yes, we’re the only survivors.”
: “Oh.” She didn’t seem to know what to say, so Shaggy stepped forward.
: “My name’s Shaggy, this is Elaine, Alex, and Dr. Chen,” he introduced.
: “Short Round,” Dr. Chen corrected.
: “My name’s Indigo. I was out hiking, my school was on a trip, and I kinda got lost. It’s really easy to get lost out here, the place is so big. So, where are you headed?”
: “Well, we were heading to Teotihuacan with my father, but…”
: “We still go. I tell Docta Jones we meet him there, so we still go. Indy always make it out alive.”
: “I’m afraid you may be wrong this time, brother,” Alex said.
: “Well, I’m sure someone at my camp knows the direction there, it’s just I don’t exactly know the way to my camp…”
: Alex stepped forward. “We can help you.” He felt someone kick him in the back of the leg.
: “Alex, we really don’t need to burden her with our presence,” Shaggy said through clenched teeth.
: “Oh no, it’s no problem. Thanks a lot! It’s just…you guys aren’t serial killers or anything are you?”

: * 
: Indiana Jones opened his eyes and the first thing he heard was a pounding. Then he realized that the pounding was inside his head. He tried to sit up but his head was throbbing. So he moved his eyes around. He found he was sitting on a straw hammock, strung between two trees. He was outside, but under a tent. From behind him, he heard a voice saying…
: “Indiana Jones! Long time no see.”

: Only you can stop the poking madness of Operation Pokemon Blue.  So now what, people?  Drop me an e-mail at Shagsworth@hotmail.com or reply here to join my militia... Err, the writing staff.  ;)
: -Shaggy

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