E.T. and the Raiders of the Lost Ark

Posted by Short Round from ABD7D269.ipt.aol.com on February 10, 2000 at 21:00:33:

Here goes a fan fic I thought of outta da blue!

E.T. and his gang walk through the scary forrest as all these names and credits appear on the screen. Jumping over rivers and such, they come to some lake where E.T. takes out a map. As he studies it, he hears a gun click and his ear holes go in motion. He takes out his whip and whips it out at Barranca! Barranca clutches his hand and runs away and his buddy, Greg, stares in surprise as he follows E.T. who is curling his whip back and walking up a hill.
"This is iiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. This is where Botanis cashed in." E.T. says as he gathers sand to a small bag.
"A friend of your, dirt face?" Greg says.
"No. A commpetitor. He was good. He was veeeeeeeery veeeeeery goooooood." E.T. replies as he gets out a torch from the back pack and walks into the temple along with Greg who is a little jittery and nervous. Walking through the cobwebs and dust, they comes to a tunnel which has a track leading up from the entrance into a hole in the cieling. Greg, who is sweating as hell, speaks up in a shaky tone.
"E.T." He gulps and points to the spiders on his back. E.T. uses the Force and they all fly off. The E.T. theme plays in the background. E.T. then tells Greg to turn around and makes the noise he made when he seen Tom's tail burnt off on Tom and Jerry(Watch E.T. after he/Elliot gets drunk). He uses the Force and makes them fly off! They continue through the tunnel and then E.T. signals Greg to stop as they come to a shaft a light going across the tunnel. E.T. uses the force and they both walk through it without a problem. He then releases with the Force and a gate of spikes comes through the wall with a corpse attached.
"Ouch." E.T. says(Watch E.T.)

E.T. and Greg come to a halt as a giant pit lays in the middle of another corridor with no cieling and a branch coming through. E.T. uses the Force and makes the branch come down and connect on both ends as a bridge for the duo to cross over. As they cross over, Greg slips and hits his groin against the branch before he tips over and falls down the pit! E.T. uses the Force and lifts him back up!(Watch E.T.)He brings him up to the pit and shakes his head in disgust.
"Be carefuuuuuuul, Greeeeeeeg." E.T. keeps nodding.

They come to a grand chamber with an idol on an alter at the very end!
"We must hurry, there is nothing to fear here!" Greg says in a happy tone finally. Using the Force push, E.T. knocks him against the gong on the side of the wall.
"That's what scares me. Watch this cool trick I learned, dude." E.T. says with the same smile he did when him and Elliot were admiring their machine and then Elliot started to cry. E.T. uses the Force again to make the tiles on the grounds have pressure. The sound of air blowing and wood against cement boomed through the whole room as darts shot out from holes in the wall and littering the floor!
"Stay here." E.T. said as he adjusted his Fedora.
"As you insist, dirt face." Greg says with awe.
"Don't call me that."
E.T. waddles as fast as possible to the idol. Hesitating, he grabs the idol and puts the sack of sand in it's place. To his luck, the room starts to shake! Greg is the first to bolt out of the room as E.T. starts to waddle off dodging falling debris from the wall and cieling!

Greg jumps to the other side as the log beneath him breaks from the tremor! E.T. comes into view holding the idol and wondering what happened to it!
"Quick, gimme the idol!" He says.
E.T., trusting the bastard, throws him the idol.
"Wait near the door!" He says.
"Adios dirt face." Greg says as he runs.
E.T. does a Force jump and lands on the other end when suddenly a slab door closes in front of his face! E.T. uses the Force and bashes through it to come to a stop when he sees Greg's corpse slung beside Botanis'.
"Adios butthead." He says as he picks up the idol.
Walking casually through the corridor, he looks up to see a huuuuuuuuge ass boulder coming from the cieling to chase him! E.T. grimaces and uses Force speed to run from it! Slowing down, he catapults out of the entrance of the temple to see a lot of FBI agents in front of them including his most biggest enemy: Keys!

Comments please.

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