Hah, mah naym is Shaggy, and ahm ah righter.

Posted by Shaggy from spider-tm041.proxy.aol.com on March 16, 2000 at 02:17:27:

This is to the dozen people who seem to get a kick out of e-mailing me about IJatIFoD and Space Ghost and my other activities in the fan fiction forum. They're also constantly asking about Shaggy stuff because I'm constantly on the Zealot Intergalactic Top Ten List, which I've gotten a whole bunch a squat for. And not just squat, but diddly squat, the squat that diddles. Well, ImADharmaBum@aol.com writes

"dear shaggy
i read ur story in the indfan forum and i rely liked it when will you do another one?????? can u keep me posted? who r u? what do u like?
-ImADharmaBum"

Usually, I'd delete e-mail like this from AOL newbies, because I use AOL on my slower computer and meet 20 people exactly like the aforementioned person, however, The Dharma Bums was an excellent book written by my hero, Jack Kerouac. Many other AOLers (@aol.com) and even a couple of hotheads (@hotmail.com) and Zealots (@zealot.com) are e-mailing me about what's happening with my fan fiction and me. The FF stuff is pretty sporatic, but I can tell you that Space Ghost is getting a part 2 and 3 before it's done, and Insidious Fountain is getting a complete make over, which will be done in a week or two. Now then, about me:

I am a 15 year old Freshman at El Toro High School in Asswipe, California. I've been involved in Martial Arts since I was 8, but due to a series of knee and back injuries, I recently had to quit it. I've won only 1 tournie where I got to meet the star of Lethal Weapon IV and Romeo Must Die: Jet Li, who is rumored to be playing Boba Fett in Episode II for all ye Star Wars dorks, and I've gotten a barage of second and tenth place medals for a bunch of other tournies. My nick is Shaggy, which originally wasn't to homage the God of the Cartoon Bong, but because I'm italian and got facial hair at age 11 or 12, the youngest in my school. Speaking of being Italian, I'm ethnocentric, which means I think my people are better than yours and I'm right. Don't even try to contest it, we f*cking conquered all your ancestors and made them our Goddamn slaves, killed Jesus, fed his followers to lions and blamed fires on them, single handedly created indoor plumming and made a huge wall for some reason in Britain, so get over it. Bitch.

I'm about 5'10", I weigh 150 pounds, I'm an Aries *wink*, and I only go out with girls with long, dark hair and braces. Braces are sort of my fetish for some reason, it's freaky. I don't question these things. Oh, yes, and also, I wear these Rx sunglasses all the times, because I figure that only blind people and assholes go indoors with dark glasses on, and I'm not blind. My real first name is Joe, which is also my Dad's first name, so it's even worse because sometimes my family calles me "Little Joe" or "Joe, Jr." so I know where Indy's coming from with that whole Henry thing. But I have a really kickass middle name: VICTORIO. Whoa. It's like, Fabio, only with more syllables. Compare:

"Hello, what is your name?"
"MY name is VICTORIO"
"Wow, let's go shag right now!"
"Like I haven't heard that a million times."

"Hello, what is your name?"
"My name... is... ah... Joe."
"As in, Joe Mama?"
"Like I haven't heard that a million times."

"Hello, what is your name?"
"I'm Shaggy."
"Jinkies, Shaggy, wanna go Scooby Dooby Doo me?"

You get the idea.

I have an addiction: Space Ghost and Coffee.

I'd like to end my bio with a funny story that actually happened to me.

When I was 12, I was sleeping at my cousin's house over the Summer, and he put beans in my hands, and then when I woke up, I was like, "Whoa, I have beans in my hands," so I snuck behind his bedroom door, waited all day long for him to come home from his job as a sushi roller, and I kicked him in the jaw, and it was all bloody and blue, and it was funny. THEN I ATE THE BEANS, AND THEY WERE YUMMY! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

One more thing: I have a severe multi personality disorder. The above was Brak talking, pay him no mind, citizens. And now, TIME FOR THE PILSBURY DOUGHBOY... TO DIE!
(bumbumbum)
-Shag Ghost

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Name: E-Mail: Subject: Comments:
: This is to the dozen people who seem to get a kick out of e-mailing me about IJatIFoD and Space Ghost and my other activities in the fan fiction forum. They're also constantly asking about Shaggy stuff because I'm constantly on the Zealot Intergalactic Top Ten List, which I've gotten a whole bunch a squat for. And not just squat, but diddly squat, the squat that diddles. Well, ImADharmaBum@aol.com writes : "dear shaggy : i read ur story in the indfan forum and i rely liked it when will you do another one?????? can u keep me posted? who r u? what do u like? : -ImADharmaBum" : Usually, I'd delete e-mail like this from AOL newbies, because I use AOL on my slower computer and meet 20 people exactly like the aforementioned person, however, The Dharma Bums was an excellent book written by my hero, Jack Kerouac. Many other AOLers (@aol.com) and even a couple of hotheads (@hotmail.com) and Zealots (@zealot.com) are e-mailing me about what's happening with my fan fiction and me. The FF stuff is pretty sporatic, but I can tell you that Space Ghost is getting a part 2 and 3 before it's done, and Insidious Fountain is getting a complete make over, which will be done in a week or two. Now then, about me: : I am a 15 year old Freshman at El Toro High School in Asswipe, California. I've been involved in Martial Arts since I was 8, but due to a series of knee and back injuries, I recently had to quit it. I've won only 1 tournie where I got to meet the star of Lethal Weapon IV and Romeo Must Die: Jet Li, who is rumored to be playing Boba Fett in Episode II for all ye Star Wars dorks, and I've gotten a barage of second and tenth place medals for a bunch of other tournies. My nick is Shaggy, which originally wasn't to homage the God of the Cartoon Bong, but because I'm italian and got facial hair at age 11 or 12, the youngest in my school. Speaking of being Italian, I'm ethnocentric, which means I think my people are better than yours and I'm right. Don't even try to contest it, we f*cking conquered all your ancestors and made them our Goddamn slaves, killed Jesus, fed his followers to lions and blamed fires on them, single handedly created indoor plumming and made a huge wall for some reason in Britain, so get over it. Bitch. : I'm about 5'10", I weigh 150 pounds, I'm an Aries *wink*, and I only go out with girls with long, dark hair and braces. Braces are sort of my fetish for some reason, it's freaky. I don't question these things. Oh, yes, and also, I wear these Rx sunglasses all the times, because I figure that only blind people and assholes go indoors with dark glasses on, and I'm not blind. My real first name is Joe, which is also my Dad's first name, so it's even worse because sometimes my family calles me "Little Joe" or "Joe, Jr." so I know where Indy's coming from with that whole Henry thing. But I have a really kickass middle name: VICTORIO. Whoa. It's like, Fabio, only with more syllables. Compare: : "Hello, what is your name?" : "MY</> name is VICTORIO" : "Wow, let's go shag right now!" : "Like I haven't heard that a million times." : "Hello, what is your name?" : "My name... is... ah... Joe." : "As in, Joe Mama?" : "Like I haven't heard that a million times." : "Hello, what is your name?" : "I'm Shaggy." : "Jinkies, Shaggy, wanna go Scooby Dooby Doo me?" : You get the idea. : I have an addiction: Space Ghost and Coffee. : I'd like to end my bio with a funny story that actually happened to me. : When I was 12, I was sleeping at my cousin's house over the Summer, and he put beans in my hands, and then when I woke up, I was like, "Whoa, I have beans in my hands," so I snuck behind his bedroom door, waited all day long for him to come home from his job as a sushi roller, and I kicked him in the jaw, and it was all bloody and blue, and it was funny. THEN I ATE THE BEANS, AND THEY WERE YUMMY! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! : One more thing: I have a severe multi personality disorder. The above was Brak talking, pay him no mind, citizens. And now, TIME FOR THE PILSBURY DOUGHBOY... TO DIE! : (bumbumbum) : -Shag Ghost
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