You're really screwed in the head(NM)

Posted by Short Round from 98A8AB72.ipt.aol.com on March 26, 2000 at 18:51:17:

In Reply to: Re: I HOPE I NEVER SEE GOODSPORT FOR AS LONG AS I LIVE! posted by Shaggy on March 26, 2000 at 13:38:33:

: Shaggy walks in wearing a Donald Duck costume and waves to Goodsport.
: "Greetings citizens..." he pauses, seeing the little Good Sockys thing. "Eww... a bug..."
: Shaggy whips out his power gauntlets from under his feathery sleeves and blasts the little thing in a stream of ulta violet solar energy that can go through 16 inches of steel. The band continues streaming for a few seconds, and then stops. There's a little smudge of blood and a sock where the "bug" used to be.
: "I hate bugs. Hey Goodsport, was that your sock?" Shaggy says, sneering through the bill of the Duck costume.
: "Um... yes."
: "Well, put it back on."
: Short Rounds looks around, eyes tearing up.
: "What's wrong, Shorty?" James asks, looking up from some stupid comic book.
: Short Round points at Shaggy.
: "Are you sad because he killed Good Sockys?"
: Short Round shook his head.
: "Well, I gotta be going. Good luck with that gauntlet shaped hole in your torso. How did that get there, anyway, Shorty?" He paused again. "Ew! Another bug!"
: "Aren't you going to kill it, Shaggy?" Goodsport asked.
: "Yes... but not right now..." Shaggy leaned down to get a closer look at Good Good Sockys, "I'm gonna follow it home... Wipe out it's whole family."
: Shorty collapsed off the chair, blood bubbles blowing out his mouth as James called 911.
: "911! 911!" James called.
: "Noooooooooo Good Sockys," the little thing called out and was met with the aim of a power gauntlet.
: "Just keep walking, short stuff."
: "Um... where?"
: "Home."
: "Who's home."
: "Your home."
: "You mean the place where I live?"
: "Yeah, you and your family."
: "Well... ah, you see, that's not going to work?"
: "Uh huh."
: "My wife and I have... temporarily seperated?"
: "Uh huh."
: "And my kid... has bohemia."
: "Bohemia? As in Bohemian Rhapsody? I love that song! Let's go!"
: "No..."
: A power gauntlet fired briefly. Good Good Sockys only had 1 arm now.
: "FUG! YOU MOTHERFUGGIN SONOFARAPTOR! AH KEEL U!" Good Good Sockys said.
: A power gauntlet fired briefly. Good Good Sockys didn't have any arms now.
: "Fug! Fine! Let's go!"
: "That's the spirit."
: Shaggy began following the little thing out the door. Short Round was groping at Goodsport's shirt for him to get help, while James poked him in the ribs from the inside of his gut every once in a while just to see what it felt like. Short Round was hiccuping chunky blood and trying to coil his intestines with one hand, his other busy groping at Goodsport's shirt, and the siren outside the door signaled the arrival of an ambulance.
: A loudphone yelled from outside, "We're here to help you, but first we have to know, are you white?"
: "What *HIC* *SPLURRRRRRR* does that have to do with anythi *SPLUR* anything?" Short Round yelled at the door.
: "Are you white?"
: "I'm a Star Wars fan!"
: "Works for us," and Short Round was promptly saved by Jesus and Elton John.
: Meanwhile, Shaggy was following a little sprite that was getting more and more irritated with him.
: "I am so going to kill your family. You, your wife, your mother... Your kid. Dead. All dead. It's going to be fun... Little sprite blood smeared all over the wall... The Sprite Police will be completely grossed out. They'll be like, 'What the Hell happened here?' and I'll say, they hated Good Good Sockys, so they killed him and themselves. It's going to rock. Maybe in 20 years, I'll turn this into a film, or a short story where I'll just be ranting about how I'm going to kill everyone that you ever loved or cared about right in front of you, you armless little bitch. Maybe I'll eat them. Yeah, I'm gonna blast off their legs and arms, dip 'em in horse radish, and eat the little dorks. You first. And I'll eat them whole, so they'll die by boiling in my stomach acids. Just think of it, bud, you, slowly melting in my gut, watching your family dissolve into skeletons and die crying in eachother's arms, their last sentiments slowly wasting away into my crap. I wonder what it'll look like when I poop out a family of sprites. Who's fault was it? Yours! Hahahaha! I bet one of you probably wouldn't of completely died, and was all like, 'Help me, help me, I'm still alive!' and then I'll flush and they'll drowned in crap that used to be their own family. Hey, I bet it'll be you. Mwahahahahaha! Maybe I'll eat the Sprite Police, too! Mwahahahaha..."
: "Hey, you realise I can just make you vanish, right?"
: "Yeah, but then you couldn't see me. DEATH FROM ABOVE! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Bum, bum, bang, bing, dum, dum, bingbingbingbing, bum. Dum dum dum, bingbingbingbing dum, bum bum bum, blue ba da bee ba dai, ba dabo deebo ba dai, blue bad a beedo badai badabo dee ba dai badeebo bad ai, meo meo meo, tie tie tie, la la la. I'm so going to wipe out everyone you ever knew. Remember that Monty Python bit with the bird? I'm gonna do that at the morgue with the Good Mortician."
: "You're pretty bad."
: "I be so bad, I kick my own ass twice a day. But you're so gonna go to Hell..."
: Two days later.
: "And then I'll be like, 'YEAH, I KILLED THEM, MOFO, WHATCHA GONNA DO?' and Ice T will tell me I'm da bomb."
: "Uh huh. We're here."
: "Thanks," Shaggy said, and ate Good Good Sockys' legs, "Don't go anywhere, dude. I want to show you something."
: Shaggy went into Good Sockys' house and brought out his family, Good Good Sockys, Jr. and Mrs. Good Good Sockys.
: "What's going on here, pop?" Good Good Sockys Jr. asked, seeing his father bleeding to death on their porch.
: "Oh, he's gonna kill us," he said, spitting some sprite blood at Shaggy.
: "Damn straight," Shaggy replied, and ate Good Good Sockys Jr.
: "Holy..." Mrs. Good Good Sockys started saying, and was eaten.
: "And now for the main course."
: Shaggy started at the bottom of Good Good Sockys' torso and slowly bit up, chewing him a bit, making sure his head was intact, and swollowed. And burped.
: "The Sarlacc pit's got nothin' on me."
: And Shaggy began walking back to where he started, stepping on Sprite cars and houses as he went. He figured that now would be a good time to get Short Round a "Hope You Get Better Soon" gift.

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I'm a violent little bastard. Shaggy 19:34:46 3/26/2000 (0)

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: : Shaggy walks in wearing a Donald Duck costume and waves to Goodsport.
: : "Greetings citizens..." he pauses, seeing the little Good Sockys thing.  "Eww... a bug..."
: : Shaggy whips out his power gauntlets from under his feathery sleeves and blasts the little thing in a stream of ulta violet solar energy that can go through 16 inches of steel.  The band continues streaming for a few seconds, and then stops.  There's a little smudge of blood and a sock where the "bug" used to be.
: : "I hate bugs.  Hey Goodsport, was that your sock?" Shaggy says, sneering through the bill of the Duck costume.
: : "Um... yes."
: : "Well, put it back on."
: : Short Rounds looks around, eyes tearing up.
: : "What's wrong, Shorty?" James asks, looking up from some stupid comic book.
: : Short Round points at Shaggy.
: : "Are you sad because he killed Good Sockys?"
: : Short Round shook his head.
: : "Well, I gotta be going.  Good luck with that gauntlet shaped hole in your torso.  How did that get there, anyway, Shorty?"  He paused again.  "Ew!  Another bug!"
: : "Aren't you going to kill it, Shaggy?" Goodsport asked.
: : "Yes... but not right now..." Shaggy leaned down to get a closer look at Good Good Sockys,  "I'm gonna follow it home...  Wipe out it's whole family."
: : Shorty collapsed off the chair, blood bubbles blowing out his mouth as James called 911.
: : "911!  911!" James called.
: : "Noooooooooo Good Sockys," the little thing called out and was met with the aim of a power gauntlet.
: : "Just keep walking, short stuff."
: : "Um... where?"
: : "Home."
: : "Who's home."
: : "Your home."
: : "You mean the place where I live?"
: : "Yeah, you and your family."
: : "Well... ah, you see, that's not going to work?"
: : "Uh huh."
: : "My wife and I have... temporarily seperated?"
: : "Uh huh."
: : "And my kid... has bohemia."
: : "Bohemia?  As in Bohemian Rhapsody?  I love that song!  Let's go!"
: : "No..."
: : A power gauntlet fired briefly.  Good Good Sockys only had 1 arm now.
: : "FUG!  YOU MOTHERFUGGIN SONOFARAPTOR!  AH KEEL U!" Good Good Sockys said.
: : A power gauntlet fired briefly.  Good Good Sockys didn't have any arms now.
: : "Fug!  Fine!  Let's go!"
: : "That's the spirit."
: : Shaggy began following the little thing out the door.  Short Round was groping at Goodsport's shirt for him to get help, while James poked him in the ribs from the inside of his gut every once in a while just to see what it felt like.  Short Round was hiccuping chunky blood and trying to coil his intestines with one hand, his other busy groping at Goodsport's shirt, and the siren outside the door signaled the arrival of an ambulance.
: : A loudphone yelled from outside, "We're here to help you, but first we have to know, are you white?"
: : "What *HIC* *SPLURRRRRRR* does that have to do with anythi *SPLUR* anything?" Short Round yelled at the door.
: : "Are you white?"
: : "I'm a Star Wars fan!"
: : "Works for us," and Short Round was promptly saved by Jesus and Elton John.
: : Meanwhile, Shaggy was following a little sprite that was getting more and more irritated with him.
: : "I am so going to kill your family.  You, your wife, your mother... Your kid.  Dead.  All dead.  It's going to be fun... Little sprite blood smeared all over the wall... The Sprite Police will be completely grossed out.  They'll be like, 'What the Hell happened here?' and I'll say, they hated Good Good Sockys, so they killed him and themselves.  It's going to rock.  Maybe in 20 years, I'll turn this into a film, or a short story where I'll just be ranting about how I'm going to kill everyone that you ever loved or cared about right in front of you, you armless little bitch.  Maybe I'll eat them.  Yeah, I'm gonna blast off their legs and arms, dip 'em in horse radish, and eat the little dorks.  You first.  And I'll eat them whole, so they'll die by boiling in my stomach acids.  Just think of it, bud, you, slowly melting in my gut, watching your family dissolve into skeletons and die crying in eachother's arms, their last sentiments slowly wasting away into my crap.  I wonder what it'll look like when I poop out a family of sprites.  Who's fault was it?  Yours!  Hahahaha!  I bet one of you probably wouldn't of completely died, and was all like, 'Help me, help me, I'm still alive!' and then I'll flush and they'll drowned in crap that used to be their own family.  Hey, I bet it'll be you.  Mwahahahahaha!  Maybe I'll eat the Sprite Police, too!  Mwahahahaha..."
: : "Hey, you realise I can just make you vanish, right?"
: : "Yeah, but then you couldn't see me.  DEATH FROM ABOVE!  MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  Bum, bum, bang, bing, dum, dum, bingbingbingbing, bum.  Dum dum dum, bingbingbingbing dum, bum bum bum, blue ba da bee ba dai, ba dabo deebo ba dai, blue bad a beedo badai badabo dee ba dai badeebo bad ai, meo meo meo, tie  tie tie, la la la.  I'm so going to wipe out everyone you ever knew.  Remember that Monty Python bit with the bird?  I'm gonna do that at the morgue with the Good Mortician."
: : "You're pretty bad."
: : "I be so bad, I kick my own ass twice a day.  But you're so gonna go to Hell..."
: : Two days later.
: : "And then I'll be like, 'YEAH, I KILLED THEM, MOFO, WHATCHA GONNA DO?' and Ice T will tell me I'm da bomb."
: : "Uh huh.  We're here."
: : "Thanks," Shaggy said, and ate Good Good Sockys' legs, "Don't go anywhere, dude.  I want to show you something."
: : Shaggy went into Good Sockys' house and brought out his family, Good Good Sockys, Jr. and Mrs. Good Good Sockys.
: : "What's going on here, pop?" Good Good Sockys Jr. asked, seeing his father bleeding to death on their porch.
: : "Oh, he's gonna kill us," he said, spitting some sprite blood at Shaggy.
: : "Damn straight," Shaggy replied, and ate Good Good Sockys Jr.
: : "Holy..." Mrs. Good Good Sockys started saying, and was eaten.
: : "And now for the main course."
: : Shaggy started at the bottom of Good Good Sockys' torso and slowly bit up, chewing him a bit, making sure his head was intact, and swollowed.  And burped.
: : "The Sarlacc pit's got nothin' on me."
: : And Shaggy began walking back to where he started, stepping on Sprite cars and houses as he went.  He figured that now would be a good time to get Short Round a "Hope You Get Better Soon" gift.

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