Great story so far!! However....

Posted by Indiana JImmie from 1Cust241.tnt8.beaverton.or.da.uu.net on February 08, 2001 at 08:59:38:

In Reply to: A new story, read and relate please. Thanks posted by Dawn Lechner on February 06, 2001 at 16:45:06:

Indy's hands are tied BEHIND him at the start of the story - how does he wrestle the gun away from the guards, etc?

Just wanted to pass on some constructive criticism...

Indiana Jimmie

: Indiana stood stock still with a steel cold barrel shoved under his chin. Rough hands ran over his body, as another set grabbed his wrists and tied them behind his back. Finally the frisking hands were satisfied and he got to see the three guards that had "captured" him.
: Indy glared in the faces of three sweaty, beefy german guards, each wearing part of a uniform and carrying heavy guns. Wiping the blood from his split lip on his shoulder Indy spat in there faces, as he heard footsteps approaching the three guards grabbed Indy. One kicked him in the stomach for good measure and Indy sank to his knees. Two of the thugs dragged him back to his feet and held him while the third went to meet the on coming officer. Lifting his head as the pain subsided Indy glanced around the stone corridor, making sure the kid hadn't followed him. He was pleased to find himself alone in capture. Well sort of, the capture part he didn't like.
: Slowly he turned his head far enough to see the shine of high heeled boots peeking just around the corner of the door the third guard had gone through. Listening hard he managed to make out a female voice. Then a man's, both speaking in German. He couldn't make out enough to decipher and he gave up, finding it made his headache come back.
: He could've fallen asleep, and almost had when one of the guards holding him punched his head, and started shouting at him in German. Something about getting up, and moving. Something about meeting someone. Dragging himself up again he shrugged them off and started walking on his own feet, swaying a little. Glancing ahead and behind noncelantly, he found he was alone with the two guards. If they didn't have guns he was sure he could take them, they were dumb enough after all. Then he laughed and getting an idea, he laughed again louder. His laughing rose to a chuckle then the laughter of a lunatic. He started on the walls he passed, collapsing with laughter, acting as though he had lost his mind. He doubted it would work, and he realized he might be killing himself but he had to try.
: Sinking to the floor with laughter he kicked and pounded at the floor and the air, laughing till his chest hurt. The second guard was mighty confused at that point and it took a few minutes before the guard knelt on the ground by Indy. With a stray foot Indy knocked the guards head back leaping at his gun, and wrestling it from his hands. The guard dropped easily, and Indy realized that maybe his head wasn't quite as thick as one might have thought. Turning on the other guard he cocked the automatic and raised an eyebrow. The guard growled through his automatic straight at Indy's head then charged INdy. Ducking under the flying gun, he was unprepared for the onslaught and Indy found himself being bowled to the floor like a sack of potatoes. The wind was knocked out of him, as he landed with the big oaf on top of him. And a few minutes later he felt himself being slammed sideways against a nearby stone wall. Indy still had the gun in his hand but he was helpless against the fury of black dots that was swirling toward him.
: Shaking his head he tried to clear it, but only made his headache worse, the giant was coming back.
: Kicking his feet up he caught the guard in the gut and managed to buy himself a second or so, stumbling to his feet he attempted to run backwards wondering why he hadn't already shot the guard. Looking down at his hand he winced seeing the blood seeping from the cut he had recieved from his now broken hand.
: "Stupid germans" he swore to himself to give the guy a taste of his own medicine as he continued to run, tucking his hand into his jacket. He must have dropped the gun, he realized. Racing down a stair case he turned to look behind him, then turned back to run into a half opened door. He head smacked hard against the door and he dropped beside it at the foot of the stairs, unconcious.
: On the other side of the door a young women dressed fashionably from her mink, fitted,jewel studded hat to her sueade dark blue high-heeled boots. She too lay unconcious by the door, a small bruise welling just above her nose.
: TO BE CONTINUED . . .

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Re: Great story so far!! However.... Dawn Lechner 13:03:25 2/10/2001 (0)

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: Indy's hands are tied BEHIND him at the start of the story - how does he wrestle the gun away from the guards, etc?

: Just wanted to pass on some constructive criticism...

: Indiana Jimmie

: 
: : Indiana stood stock still with a steel cold barrel shoved under his chin.  Rough hands ran over his body, as another set grabbed his wrists and tied them behind his back.  Finally the frisking hands were satisfied and he got to see the three guards that had "captured" him.  
: : Indy glared in the faces of three sweaty, beefy german guards, each wearing part of a uniform and carrying heavy guns.  Wiping the blood from his split lip on his shoulder Indy spat in there faces, as he heard footsteps approaching the three guards grabbed Indy.  One kicked him in the stomach for good measure and Indy sank to his knees.  Two of the thugs dragged him back to his feet and held him while the third went to meet the on coming officer.  Lifting his head as the pain subsided Indy glanced around the stone corridor, making sure the kid hadn't followed him. He was pleased to find himself alone in capture.  Well sort of, the capture part he didn't like.  
: : Slowly he turned his head far enough to see the shine of high heeled boots peeking just around the corner of the door the third guard had gone through.  Listening hard he managed to make out a female voice.  Then a man's, both speaking in German.  He couldn't make out enough to decipher and he gave up, finding it made his headache come back.  
: : He could've fallen asleep, and almost had when one of the guards holding him punched his head, and started shouting at him in German.  Something about getting up, and moving.  Something about meeting someone.  Dragging himself up again he shrugged them off and started walking on his own feet, swaying a little.  Glancing ahead and behind noncelantly, he found he was alone with the two guards.  If they didn't have guns he was sure he could take them, they were dumb enough after all.  Then he laughed and getting an idea, he laughed again louder.  His laughing rose to a chuckle then the laughter of a lunatic.  He started on the walls he passed, collapsing with laughter, acting as though he had lost his mind.  He doubted it would work, and he realized he might be killing himself but he had to try.  
: : Sinking to the floor with laughter he kicked and pounded at the floor and the air, laughing till his chest hurt.  The second guard was mighty confused at that point and it took a few minutes before the guard knelt on the ground by Indy.  With a stray foot Indy knocked the guards head back leaping at his gun, and wrestling it from his hands.  The guard dropped easily, and Indy realized that maybe his head wasn't quite as thick as one might have thought.  Turning on the other guard he cocked the automatic and raised an eyebrow.  The guard growled through his automatic straight at Indy's head then charged INdy.  Ducking under the flying gun, he was unprepared for the onslaught and Indy found himself being bowled to the floor like a sack of potatoes.  The wind was knocked out of him, as he landed with the big oaf on top of him. And a few minutes later he felt himself being slammed sideways against a nearby stone wall.  Indy still had the gun in his hand but he was helpless against the fury of black dots that was swirling toward him. 
: : Shaking his head he tried to clear it, but only made his headache worse, the giant was coming back.  
: : Kicking his feet up he caught the guard in the gut and managed to buy himself a second or so, stumbling to his feet he attempted to run backwards wondering why he hadn't already shot the guard.  Looking down at his hand he winced seeing the blood seeping from the cut he had recieved from his now broken hand.  
: : "Stupid germans" he swore to himself to give the guy a taste of his own medicine as he continued to run, tucking his hand into his jacket.  He must have dropped the gun, he realized. Racing down a stair case he turned to look behind him, then turned back to run into a half opened door.  He head smacked hard against the door and he dropped beside it at the foot of the stairs, unconcious.  
: : On the other side of the door a young women dressed fashionably from her mink, fitted,jewel studded hat to her sueade dark blue high-heeled boots.  She too lay unconcious by the door, a small bruise welling just above her nose. 
: : TO BE CONTINUED . . .

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