Brilliant! Just Brilliant! That was awesome! nm

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Posted by Brett (Yasim) Lambert from 209.5.179.15 on August 23, 1999 at 10:01:11:

In Reply to: And now for something completely different. posted by Aragorn on August 22, 1999 at 23:41:12:

: Indiana Jones
: and the
: Something that was Completely Different

: by Aragorn

:
: "Doctor Jones?" The young student entered into Professor Indiana Jones' dusty, cluttered office, textbook in hand and with a puzzled look upon his face. Indiana sat at his desk, a giant stack of papers waiting to be graded standing precariously to his right, to his left were the three that he had finished with. This was going to be a long night, and questions from students weren't going to make it any shorter. "Doctor Jones?"

: The students words were not heard by the doctor. Indy was lost in his frequent remembering of the old days; of adventuring, globetrotting, and battling the forces of evil. Only a little while had passed since his adventure with the Infernal Machine, his last and greatest and most deadly quest, and it's resolution had left him here, once again, at the University. It was here where every adventure began and ended, the short period of rest in between each one. Even that was becoming to much for him. Life was getting to be to much of a boring burden. His rumpled fedora agreed with him, silently, from it's place on the coatrack in the corner. Adventuring, teaching, more adventuring, then teaching again... "Doctor Jones! Are you okay?"

: Indy straightened his glasses and looked up, leaving his thoughts behind. "Mr. Johnson. How may I help you? I was just thinking back on my last expedition. I believe that I've just about had enough world traveling for a lifetime."

: "Ah. Well, I'm sorry to interrupt, Doctor Jones. I just needed to ask you, about tomorrow's assignment--"

: The student, Johnson, was abruptly cut off by the Professor. "Yes," Indy said, "I've seen enough artifacts, been to enough places." Indy frowned and shook his head.

: "I see, Dr. Jones. As I was going to ask you--"

: "Killed enough villains for twenty fellows my age. It's a wonder I'm still around."

: The student was becoming a bit irritated, but he did his best not to show it. "Now, about yesterdays assignment. What did you mean when you told us to read the chapters dealing with--"

: Indy picked up his fedora and stood up, holding up his hand as to tell the student to be silent. "Look here, Mr. Johnson. I've just realized something. I don't want to do this."

: "Excuse me, sir. Do what?"

: "This! Teach and adventure. I'm sick to death of it."

: "I... see... Doctor Jones."

: "Now that I'm thinking about it, I realize that I'd much rather be..." Indy's eyes grew wide and bright in excitement. "A LUMBERJACK!!!"

: "A lumberjack, sir?"

: "That's right! A lumberjack!!!" Indy threw on his leather jacket over his suit and stood proudly, a wide smile upon his face as he looked off to some invisible point that lay distantly ahead of him. He continued. "Leaping from tree to tree across the mighty rivers of British Columbia. The fir! The larch! The mighty Scotch Pine! With my best girl by my side, I'd sing... sing! SING!!!!!"

: Indy began to dance back and forth across his office floor, knocking over his chair from behind him. His student staring blankly at him, unsure of what to do. As he watched in disbelief, the emenant, esteemed Professor Henry Jones Jr. began to sing a most ridiculous song.

: "I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay,
: I sleep all night and I work all day!"

: Mr. Johnson watched in amazement as the totem poles and stone heads which Indy kept on the back walls of his office began to join in the song, backing the professor up. In chorus, the artifacts sang,
: "He's a lumberjack and he's okay,
: He sleeps all night and he works all day!"

: Indiana Jones continued his song, unaware of the sudden, unnatural life force that had possessed the items that lined his back wall and shelves.

: "I cut down trees,
: I eat my lunch,
: I go to the lavatory.
: On Wednesdays I go shopping,
: And have buttered scones for tea!"

: Again sang the totem poles and stone heads:

: "He cuts down trees,
: He eats his lunch,
: He goes to the lavatory.
: On Wednesdays he goes shopping
: And has buttered scones for tea!"

: Together, Indy and the artifacts sang,

: "I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay (He's a lumberjack and he's okay)
: I sleep all night and I work all day (He sleeps all night and he works all day)...

: As the song continued, Mr. Johnson fled from Dr. Jones' office, never to return, slamming the doors behind him.

: THE END.




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