Indiana Jones and the Roll of Minty Freshness: The Special Director's Cut

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Posted by Aragorn from val-pm1-013.inetnebr.com on August 28, 1999 at 17:11:16:

Indiana Jones and the Roll of Minty Freshness

by Aragorn (special thanks to Indiana James)

Cairo, 1936

"IIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNDDDDDYYYYYYYYYYYY!" cried Marian, as her basket was carried down the busy Cairo street, as her carriers did their best to avoid the searching eyes of Indiana Jones. The archaeologist's gaze shifted frantically from side to side of the alley, over robed heads and past eager merchants, searching for the right basket to come into view. His frustration peaked when he saw it, lost somewhere among the dozen others exactly like it. But only one had a voice shouting from within, and he was determined to find which basket it was. It wasn't long before his ears clearly picked out the source of the sound, and his eyes quickly found what they were seeking for.

Yet try as he might, Indy was unable to reach it. Something, someone, or some merchant-made ware was always throwing itself into his way, blocking his search as he pushed his way down the street. He had found the right basket, and reaching it could very well prove to be impossible! Or would it?

After several more tries to break through the crowd of people, Indy had an idea. Reaching into his left jacket pocket, he pulled out what he called his "lucky charm"... a roll of candy, cleverly labeled Mentos (known to you and me as "The Freshmaker", from their wildy witty commercials). With a smile, the fedora'd archaeologist popped a single white mint into his mouth, and into the air flourished what remained of the roll before him. Anyone could be watching him, after all.

Fresh and full of life, Indy's mind was now open to new ideas and strategies. Noticing a monkey sitting upon the shoulder of a man fast asleep in a sidestreet corner, he walked over to it, and offered it a small piece of fruit: a date. The monkey accepted it greedily, devouring it, and then looked up eagerly for more. Indy smiled to the little creature and pointed at the basket in which Marian was held, and then held up the fruit before it.

In an instant the monkey understood. Get that man who walked at the end of the street to drop his basket, and I can have another one of those tasty dates! The monkey chirped as if to say, "I'll do it, Mister!" and then scurried off into the careless stepping and constant movement of feet upon the plain dirt floor of the alley. The monkey hurried through the people without a stop, found the man with the screaming basket, climbed up to his face, and began to chew on his nose. Indy laughed as he watched. Cute. What an adorable creature!

The man with the basket holding Marian screamed and dropped his heavy load, holding his nose with one hand and shooing away angrily the monkey with the other. With new strength and confidence, intent on reaching his lady, Indy then again pushed onward through the crowd, as Marian's kidnapper hurried off in chase of the monkey. The kidnapper stopped for just a moment, though, sending in Indy's direction a big, friendly grin. The smile seemed to say, "Wow, I've sure been foiled this time. That guy sure is fresh and full of life!" Then he was off again, the monkey swiftly in pursuit, with Indy following from a little way behind.

But one thing was left to be done. Pausing for just a moment, Indy turned and smiled, flourish for one last time his life-saving roll of Mentos: The Freshmaker.

The End.

Doo doo doo doo doo Doo-Wah...

It doesn't matter what comes
Fresh goes better in life
With Mentos fresh and full of life
Nothing gets to you
Staying fresh staying cool
With Mentos fresh and full of life!
Fresh goes better with (Mentos freshness)
Fresh goes better with Mentos fresh and full of life!

Mentos: The Freshmaker!

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