indy 4...

Posted by aka Inbanana Jones from alpha3.csd.uwm.edu on April 11, 1999 at 23:39:32:

Hey, here's a rumor I heard; it comes from the most reliable source. Apparently Lucas and company are finishing up rewrites on the Indy 4 script. Jaleel White has a role as a young theology student named Bruce Wayne, who is studying millenial religions under Indy. Claire Danes plays Ally Mcbeal's grandmother, also studying at this university. They both uncover a Soviet plot to secretly excavate a lost Viking runestone buried in some midwestern town called Ripon. Indy, played by Brad Pitt, shows up and engages in a lengthy discussion of archaeological ethics with the Soviet leader, played by either David Bowie or that guy from the Full Monty. Just as these two are about to reconcile their philosophical differences over cappucino and brownies at the local campus hangout, White and Danes arrive and make off with the Viking treasures. They lock Indy and the Soviets in a nearby residential fallout shelter and commandeer a Chevy hotrod (souped up by Bob Falfa - Ford in a cameo role) and head to New York City. Arriving in the Big Apple, they sell the artifacts at a pawn shop and begin their celebration of the coup with a kiss just as a 50 foot ape falls from the Empire State Building and crushes them to paste. Indy and the Soviets arrive on scene just in time for them to Witness this horrifying conclusion, and Indy mutters, to no one in particular, "'twas booty killed the priest". Marion, played by Tom Selleck in drag, wanders up to Indy and coyly asks him if he'd like to get an egg cream. They leave the stunned Soviets standing in the crowds and wreckage of 5th Avenue and wander off, arm in arm, as the "Raiders March" rises to the fore...

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: Hey, here's a rumor I heard; it comes from the most reliable source. Apparently Lucas and company are finishing up rewrites on the Indy 4 script.  Jaleel White has a role as a young theology student named Bruce Wayne, who is studying millenial religions under Indy.  Claire Danes plays Ally Mcbeal's grandmother, also studying at this university. They both uncover a Soviet plot to secretly excavate a lost Viking runestone buried in some midwestern town called Ripon. Indy, played by Brad Pitt, shows up and engages in a lengthy discussion of archaeological ethics with the Soviet leader, played by either David Bowie or that guy from the Full Monty. Just as these two are about to reconcile their philosophical differences over cappucino and brownies at the local campus hangout, White and Danes arrive and make off with the Viking treasures. They lock Indy and the Soviets in a nearby residential fallout shelter and commandeer a Chevy hotrod (souped up by Bob Falfa - Ford in a cameo role) and head to New York City. Arriving in the Big Apple, they sell the artifacts at a pawn shop and begin their celebration of the coup with a kiss just as a 50 foot ape falls from the Empire State Building and crushes them to paste. Indy and the Soviets arrive on scene just in time for them to Witness this horrifying conclusion, and Indy mutters, to no one in particular, "'twas booty killed the priest". Marion, played by Tom Selleck in drag, wanders up to Indy and coyly asks him if he'd like to get an egg cream. They leave the stunned Soviets standing in the crowds and wreckage of 5th Avenue and wander off, arm in arm, as the "Raiders March" rises to the fore...

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