Ok, Guys...I need an honest opinion..

Posted by Tessa from 138.87.163.9 on July 16, 1999 at 12:23:44:

I've been fiddling around with this idea in my head. So maybe people can contribute to the story.

Chapter 1
November 1973
Lauren was reading her archeology book in her father’s study when the doorbell rang. She paid no attention to it, thinking the maid would get it. After two more rings, Lauren realized that the maid left for the Thanksgiving holidays that morning. She got up, stretched, and ran to the door, yelling, “I’m coming.”
Lauren opened the door, and saw a woman in her mid to late thirties standing outside, “Yes?”
“Does Henry Jones, Jr. live here?”
“Yes, he does.”
“Is he in?”
“He’s not back from his meetings yet. Can I help you?”
“Who are you?”
“I’m his daughter, Lauren.”
“His daughter?” the woman said in astonishment.
“Last I checked my birth certificate, it list him as my father,” smiling a bit.
“But I didn’t know he had kids, my mother never told me…”
“Your mother?”
“Yes, may I come in?”
“Sure,” as she led the woman in and let her have a seat on the sofa. Lauren closed the door, went to the bar, and asked, “Drink?”
“No thanks,” as Lauren poured herself a glass of soda and sat down in the overstuffed chair next to the woman, “Now, who’s your mother?”
“Marion. Marion Ravenwood.”
“Aunt Marion?” Lauren asked questionly, “and you are?”
“Rebecca Ness. Actually, it will be Smith in a couple of weeks.”
“Ness? Uncle Eliot’s your father?”
“Not exactly.”
“What do you mean?”
“What I’m saying, Lauren,” the woman looked at her hard, “My father is Henry Jones, Jr. Your father.”

Chapter 2
Lauren looked in shock at the woman, nearly spilling her glass, as her father walked in the door and called, “Lauren, where are you?”
“In here,” she called.
Indy came into the livingroom, saw Lauren and Rebecca and said, “I didn’t realize you had company.”
“Dad, she’s here to see you.”
“Are you one of my students?” Indy looked at her questioningly.
“No, sir,” Rebecca said.
“Dad, are Eric, Michael, and me your only children?”
Indy looked at Lauren and said, “Why?”
“This woman,” pointing a finger at Rebecca, “claims to be your daughter by Aunt Marion.”
“Marion?” looking at the woman, “Marion never told me I had a child.”
“So you don’t know?” Lauren asked.
“This is the first I’ve heard of it,” Indy sat down in his favorite chair and asked, “Lauren, pour me a glass of scotch.”
“Sure,” as she ran up to get it and handed her father the glass. Indy looked at Rebecca and asked, “Who are you?”
“My full name is Rebecca Diana Ness. My step-father adopted me when I was thirteen.”
“Your step-father?”
“Eliot Ness. Do you know him?”
“I haven’t heard from Eliot in a couple of years.”
“He died last year. Heart attack.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” smiling slightly, “You and Mom didn’t keep in touch.”
“Marion? Where is she?”
“Back in Chicago, living with one of my step-brothers.”
“I see. How can I be your father?”
“By this,” handing her father a birth certificate.
Indy looked at it and said quietly, “Rebecca Diana Ravenwood. Born: November 12, 1938 in London, England. Mother: Marion Ravenwood. Father: Henry Jones, Jr.”

Chapter 3
Indy looked at Rebecca and said, “I was with your mother about twenty-three years ago in India. I didn’t see or hear about any child.”
“I was living with an aunt in London until I was almost thirteen, when Mom met Eliot Ness and married him.”
Indy looked at Rebecca, studying her with his eyes, She looks like Marion, dark hair and my eyes, he realized.
“Why did you come here?” Lauren asked defiantly.
“Easy Lauren,” Indy said gently and looked at Rebecca, “Lauren’s been protective of me since her mother passed away.”
“Quite alright,” as she smiled at the younger woman, “But to answer your question, I just found out last week from my mother when I came upon my birth certificate in a shuffle of papers. I wanted to meet you, against my mother’s wishes.”
Indy remembered the last time he spoke to Marion when his sons were born.
-------
NEW YORK 1951
“What’s wrong?” Indy asked.
“I can’t tell you,” Marion said shaking a bit.
“Why not? We used to tell each other everything.”
“It’s different now, Indy,” as she started crying a bit.
“Why?”
Marion pointed at Kate’s room and said, “That’s why.”
“What does Kate have anything to do with…” and then realized, “Marion, are you…”
“Don’t be silly, Jones,” as she turned away.
Indy turned her back around and said,
“We need to talk about this. Come on, I’ll buy you a cup of coffee.”
As they sat in the cafeteria, Indy took a sip and said,
“Ok, talk.”
“I don’t know what to say to you.”
“Oh, really? You tell me that you hate my guts years before, we meet again after I got engaged, and you hate my wife for some reason.”
“It’s because she has the one thing I want.”
Indy looked at her and said,
“You’re jealous.”
“Of course I am. I was in love with you, Jones. It didn’t take you long to find someone else.”
“It was 12 years after you left that I found Kate. It took me a long time to get over what you did.”
“Do you love her?”
“Of course I do. I married her, didn’t I?”
“Then nothing’s changed,” Marion said, “You’re with your wife and sons and I have no one. Have a nice life, Indy,” as she walked off.
---------
Indy looked at Rebecca, smiled, and said, “Do you have a place to stay?”
“I was just going to stay at a hotel then leaving for London in the morning.”
“We’re leaving for London tomorrow as well,” Indy smiled at her, “Lauren and I were heading out to visit Stonehedge. Why don’t you stay here?”
“I’d like that, Mr. Jones.”
Indy smiled a bit, looked at Lauren and said, “Meet your sister, Laurie. This is your older sister Rebecca.”

-----
I figure since most of the people like Marion, I thought this could be a tie in. Someone add the next chapter for me.
Tessa

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Re: Ok, Guys...I need an honest opinion.. Ben, friend of Indy 14:48:43 7/17/99 (0)

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: I've been fiddling around with this idea in my head. So maybe people can contribute to the story.

: Chapter 1
: November 1973
: Lauren was reading her archeology book in her father’s study when the doorbell rang. She paid no attention to it, thinking the maid would get it. After two more rings, Lauren realized that the maid left for the Thanksgiving holidays that morning. She got up, stretched, and ran to the door, yelling, “I’m coming.”
: Lauren opened the door, and saw a woman in her mid to late thirties standing outside, “Yes?”
: “Does Henry Jones, Jr. live here?”
: “Yes, he does.”
: “Is he in?”
: “He’s not back from his meetings yet. Can I help you?”
: “Who are you?”
: “I’m his daughter, Lauren.”
: “His daughter?” the woman said in astonishment.
: “Last I checked my birth certificate, it list him as my father,” smiling a bit.
: “But I didn’t know he had kids, my mother never told me…”
: “Your mother?”
: “Yes, may I come in?”
: “Sure,” as she led the woman in and let her have a seat on the sofa. Lauren closed the door, went to the bar, and asked, “Drink?”
: “No thanks,” as Lauren poured herself a glass of soda and sat down in the overstuffed chair next to the woman, “Now, who’s your mother?”
: “Marion. Marion Ravenwood.”
: “Aunt Marion?” Lauren asked questionly, “and you are?”
: “Rebecca Ness. Actually, it will be Smith in a couple of weeks.”
: “Ness? Uncle Eliot’s your father?”
: “Not exactly.”
: “What do you mean?”
: “What I’m saying, Lauren,” the woman looked at her hard, “My father is Henry Jones, Jr. Your father.”

: Chapter 2
: Lauren looked in shock at the woman, nearly spilling her glass, as her father walked in the door and called, “Lauren, where are you?”
: “In here,” she called.
: Indy came into the livingroom, saw Lauren and Rebecca and said, “I didn’t realize you had company.”
: “Dad, she’s here to see you.”
: “Are you one of my students?” Indy looked at her questioningly.
: “No, sir,” Rebecca said.
: “Dad, are Eric, Michael, and me your only children?”
: Indy looked at Lauren and said, “Why?”
: “This woman,” pointing a finger at Rebecca, “claims to be your daughter by Aunt Marion.”
: “Marion?” looking at the woman, “Marion never told me I had a child.”
: “So you don’t know?” Lauren asked.
: “This is the first I’ve heard of it,” Indy sat down in his favorite chair and asked, “Lauren, pour me a glass of scotch.”
: “Sure,” as she ran up to get it and handed her father the glass. Indy looked at Rebecca and asked, “Who are you?”
: “My full name is Rebecca Diana Ness. My step-father adopted me when I was thirteen.”
: “Your step-father?”
: “Eliot Ness. Do you know him?”
: “I haven’t heard from Eliot in a couple of years.”
: “He died last year. Heart attack.”
: “I’m sorry.”
: “Don’t be,” smiling slightly, “You and Mom didn’t keep in touch.”
: “Marion?  Where is she?”
: “Back in Chicago, living with one of my step-brothers.”
: “I see. How can I be your father?”
: “By this,” handing her father a birth certificate.
: Indy looked at it and said quietly, “Rebecca Diana Ravenwood. Born: November 12, 1938 in London, England. Mother: Marion Ravenwood. Father: Henry Jones, Jr.”

: Chapter 3
: Indy looked at Rebecca and said, “I was with your mother about twenty-three years ago in India. I didn’t see or hear about any child.”
: “I was living with an aunt in London until I was almost thirteen, when Mom met Eliot Ness and married him.”
: Indy looked at Rebecca, studying her with his eyes, She looks like Marion, dark hair and my eyes, he realized.
: “Why did you come here?” Lauren asked defiantly.
: “Easy Lauren,” Indy said gently and looked at Rebecca, “Lauren’s been protective of me since her mother passed away.”
: “Quite alright,” as she smiled at the younger woman, “But to answer your question, I just found out last week from my mother when I came upon my birth certificate in a shuffle of papers. I wanted to meet you, against my mother’s wishes.”
: Indy remembered the last time he spoke to Marion when his sons were born. 
: -------
: NEW YORK 1951
:  “What’s wrong?” Indy asked.
: 	“I can’t tell you,” Marion said shaking a bit.
: 	“Why not? We used to tell each other everything.”
: 	“It’s different now, Indy,” as she started crying a bit.
: 	“Why?”
: Marion pointed at Kate’s room and said, “That’s why.”
: 	“What does Kate have anything to do with…” and then realized, “Marion, are you…”
: 	“Don’t be silly, Jones,” as she turned away.
: 	Indy turned her back around and said,
: 	“We need to talk about this. Come on, I’ll buy you a cup of coffee.”
: As they sat in the cafeteria, Indy took a sip and said,
: 	“Ok, talk.”
: 	“I don’t know what to say to you.”
: 	“Oh, really? You tell me that you hate my guts years before, we meet again after I got engaged, and you hate my wife for some reason.”
: 	“It’s because she has the one thing I want.”
: Indy looked at her and said,
: 	“You’re jealous.”
: 	“Of course I am. I was in love with you, Jones. It didn’t take you long to find someone else.”
: 	“It was 12 years after you left that I found Kate. It took me a long time to get over what you did.”
: 	“Do you love her?”
: 	“Of course I do. I married her, didn’t I?” 
: 	“Then nothing’s changed,” Marion said, “You’re with your wife and sons and I have no one. Have a nice life, Indy,” as she walked off.
: ---------
: Indy looked at Rebecca, smiled, and said, “Do you have a place to stay?”
: “I was just going to stay at a hotel then leaving for London in the morning.”
: “We’re leaving for London tomorrow as well,” Indy smiled at her, “Lauren and I were heading out to visit Stonehedge. Why don’t you stay here?”
: “I’d like that, Mr. Jones.”
: Indy smiled a bit, looked at Lauren and said, “Meet your sister, Laurie. This is your older sister Rebecca.”

: -----
: I figure since most of the people like Marion, I thought this could be a tie in. Someone add the next chapter for me.
: Tessa

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