Finding humor in the seemingly non-humorous...revisited! (Part 2 of 3)

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Posted by bud-arc from 216-119-34-14.o1.jps.net on May 18, 2000 at 18:14:27:

Hey, dudes and dudettes! Yes, it's the return of my little mini-series: Finding humor in the seemingly non-humorous, where I explore the funny/non-funny things you can find in the Indy trilogy. You see, when you start watching the movies as many times as I have, you start looking into it too much and start laughing at things that you've seen so many times. Anyway, this is the COMPLETE list for RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK (Version 2.01). For those of you who missed the first part of my project, FEAR NOT! It has been neatly archived in the Forum vault. Scroll down this page to find the link to it. And, above all, enjoy!

1. Sapito running away like an idiot when he gets scared by the bats; Indy just trudges on over., unamused.
2. Our first glimpse of Indy: looking WAY too pissed off as the guy scurries off.
3. Sapito with fifty tarantulas on his back.
4. Sapito face when he screams looking at the spikes coming out of the wall.
5. Sapito half-falling off the whip, whilst swinging. When he finally regains his balance, he latches onto Indy and he pushes him aside.
6. Indy throwing Sapito against the wall. "That's what scares me." Then he reaches for the torch in Sapito's backpack and he flinches cowardly.
7. "Stay here." "If you insist, senior."
8. Indy almost losing his balance and Sapito starts to worry
9. Indy looking at his reflection through the idol.
10. Indy's escape. Jumping down the stairs and outrunning the darts.
11. Sapito swinging over the chasm and falling on his ass.
12. Sapito running with the idol and getting spiked like a MORON. "Adios stupido."
13. Indy running out of the way of the boulder and diving, only to be faced by 100 Hovitos.
14. Indy making a break for it while the Hovitos are being distracted.
15. "Start the engines, Jock! Get it up!"
16. Indy noticing Reggie. "There's a big snake in the plane, Jock! I hate snakes, Jock! I hate 'em!" "Come on. Show a little backbone, willya?"
17. Indy stuttering at noticing the "I" Love You girl.
18. Class dismissed. Last to exit is a pissed off student who practically throws an apple at Indy.
19. Indy talking to Marcus. "Want to hear about it?" "Not at all." Also, Marcus is playing with the stuff on Indy's desk as he talks to him.
20. At meeting the Army Intelligence: "What do I want to see them for? What am I, in trouble?"
21. "Any of you guys ever go to Sunday school?"
22. Indy pacing excitedly at the news of Tanis and Abner Ravenwood. He's giddy as a schoolboy as he attempts to explain what the Staff of Ra is and as he fumbles with the lock on his Bible to show them the Ark.
23. "Power of God, or something."
24. Indy is WAY too happy when he learns of the news from Marcus back at his place.
25. "What are you trying to do, scare me? You sound like my mother."
26. The drunk smiling foolishly as he passes out at the Raven Bar.
27. Marion punching Indy when he turns away. Indy's surprised expression.
28. "I can only say I'm sorry so many times." Marion breaking glasses. "Well say it again!" "Sorry."
29. "See you tomorrow, Indiana Jones!" Indy has a confused look on his face, as if expecting something.
30. Marion's meeting with the stuttering Toht. "Listen, Herr Mac..."
31. Marion with the glowering coal in her face. Indy immediately whips it away and the curtains burst into flames.
32. Indy's about to get his face burned off. "...whiskey?"
33. Marion bludgeoning the Nepalese with the stick.
34. "Shoot them, shoot them both!" At this both Indy and the Nepalese look at each other and start shooting the other guy. Afterward, Indy resumes beating him up.
35. Toht burning his hand on the Headpiece of the Staff of Ra and bursting through the door, then jumps into the snow.
36. The monkey jumping onto Marion, catching her off guard. "What a wonderful little creature."
37. "They call him 'Bellosh.'" Indy starts laughing hysterically. "Belloq. Belloq!"
38. "They have not one brain among them...except one."
39. "How dare you talk that way about our baby. He's got your looks." "Yeah, and your brains."
40. "It's a date - (voice cracking) ya eat 'em!"
41. Monkey doing the Heil Hitler sign. The Nazi doing it back, then looks around to see if anyone saw him.
42. The whole Cairo market fight. "Duck!" Indy repeatedly throws Marion around while fighting the swordsmen. The swordsmen ultimately defeat themselves with badly misplaced lunges.
43. Marion with the frying pan against the man with knife (and bad teeth). "Right." She runs away into the alley and knocks him out.
44. Indy hoarsely calling out: "Marion!" Then meeting up with the big, bad swordsman, which he unceremoniously shoots. :)
45. Indy's face as he sees all the people with baskets. He then proceeds to throw them all down, which would probably hurt Marion real bad if she had been in any of them.
46. At Marion's "death," Indy gets all liquored up.
47. "You looking for me?" The man starts laughing psychotically and Indy smiles.
48. Indy's not too happy at his second meeting with Belloq. "Let us sit down like civilized people." The reaction Indy provides at this point is a mocking advance. By far the funniest thing I've ever seen! :)
49. "I see your taste in friends remains consistent."
50. Indy's side-view pissed off face. "Try the local sewer."
51. Indy's face progressively getting more and more angry. "Now you're gettin' nasty!" "You know it's true. How nice."
52. "You want to talk to God? Let's see him together. I've got nothing better to do." At this point, the children rush in and Indy starts grinning. "Better than the United States Marines, eh?"
53. Excitedly, Indy and Sallah say together: "They're digging in the wrong place!" "I am the Monarch of the Sea, I am the Ruler of the Coop..."
54. Throughout the scene where the Headpiece is getting translated, Indy keeps getting interrupted as he attempts to pop the date into his mouth, until finally he does and Sallah catches it. "Bad dates."
55. Sallah and Indy casually throwing the staff and rope down into the Map Room and lowering himself in.
56. Sallah being down the sand by the Nazis. He then proceeds to fashion a makeshift rope out of sheets and a Nazi flag.
57. Indy sweating like hell as he writes down the location and coordinates of the Well of the Souls.
58. Indy doing a little pirouette in order to avoid the oncoming Nazis as he ducks into the nearest tent.
59. Marion doing a weird sound of joy as Indy starts kissing her.
60. Marion seemingly yelling obscenities at Indy when he puts the gag back on her.
61. Indy's face looking maniacal as they unearth the antechamber to the Well of the Souls.
62. Sallah sees the snake-faced statue. "Gaaaa! ... Sorry, Indy."
63. Indy's face full of pure exhaustion. "Snakes? Why'd it have to be snakes?" "Asps. Very dangerous. You go first."
64. Belloq presents the dress to Marion. (mouth full of bread) "Beautiful." "I'd very much like to see you in it." "Ha! I bet you would!"
65. Indy falls off rope, in front of cobra. His face full of horror. (duh, why is there a piece of glass separating Indy and the snake?) :)
66. "I told you it would be all right! Ha-ha!"
67. Indy spraying the snakes like there's no tomorrow and burning them.
68. Belloq and Marion getting a little too drunk and laughing hysterically. Belloq pours the liquor down his throat (a la Marion) and starts choking.
69. Marion pours the drink into her glass, missing completely. Then Marion pulls a knife on him, and they burst out laughing. "Well, I have to be going now." Belloq waves her on drunkedly.
70. Toht threatening Marion with his...coat-hanger! Both Marion and Belloq breathe a sign of relief.
71. Indy fending off the snakes with the torch. "Ha!"
72. Indy gets caught in antechamber by Belloq. "Why don't you come up here? I'll show ya!" "Ha ha ha ha...son of a bitch..."
73. When Marion falls, she escapes deadly cobra and climbs onto Indy awkwardly.
74. Toht laughing psychotically when both Indy and Marion are trapped in Well of the Souls.
75. Indy seeing Marion in dress and getting angry. "How hard were you trying?"
76. When Indy climbs the statue with torch clenched in his teeth, he happily burns a snake and it falls on Marion.
77. The entire German Mechanic fight. Indy is not very enthusiastic when he begins fighting him. He kicks him in the crotch, bites him, and throws sand in his face. When German Mechanic finally meets his demise, Indy grins and ducks his head into the sand.
78. "Psst." Sallah enters the tent. "Oh, my friends! I'm so pleased you're not dead!"
79. Indy at deciding to go after the truck: "I don't know...I'm making this up as I go..."
80. Indy and Nazi are fighting at the wheel. Suddenly a wide-eyed peasant falls on the windshield and flies off soon thereafter. Indy and the Nazi share a little laugh before Indy decides to throw him out of the truck entirely.
81. Indy, with an evil gleam in his eye, knocking people off the side of the truck and looking back psychotically.
82. Nazi climbs the top of the truck. His hat is blown off and he looks back all surprised.
83. The whole dramatic scene of Indy going under the truck and getting back inside. We see the Nazi attempting the same and getting scrunched. Ha-ha! :)
84. When Indy knocks the car with Belloq in it and goes towards the camera before swerving the other way, you can see a "fake" Indy in the driver's seat.
85. Mr. Katanga: "Your appearance is exactly the way I imagined it." He and Sallah laugh, while Indy is clearly unamused.
86. Sallah and Indy say their good-byes. Sallah squeezes Indy too hard and Indy groans. Then Marion kisses Sallah and he starts singing merrily.
87. When Indy is checking the scars on his face in the mirror, Marion accidentally smacks him upside the chin whilst checking herself out on the other side.
88. "It's not the years, it's the mileage." Indy wants to be left alone because he is in total pain. "Go away!" "Ow! It hurts!" Then Marion asks where it doesn't hurt and Indy immediately points to his elbow.
89. Indy spying on the Nazis through the hold and ducking abruptly when the nearby Nazi turns and throws his cigarette inside.
90. Indy climbing onto the Nazi submarine and looking cool...but a little disoriented, as he wonders what to do next.
91. Indy grabbing the Nazi and taking his uniform...hmmm, a bit too small. He then gets caught by another Nazi and kicks him in the balls, hard. Another kick presents him with the second Nazi's hat, to complete his disguise.
92. Indy, in uniform, bumping into Belloq purposely, then looking back with a smirk on his face.
93. Belloq, making his speech about archaeology, has a fly buzz into his mouth...and we never see the poor little guy again...:)
94. When the Ark is opened, and only sand is found, Toht starts laughing a little bit TOO hard, for no apparent reason except that he's not right in the head...
95. Now, when the Ark's power starts to set in, Toht's laughing is replaced by girlish screaming.
96. The facial expressions when the Ark is doing its work to the Nazis...also, right before the three antagonists melt or explode.
97. When the power of God is returning to the sky, you can see a cheesy Nazi dummy flying upwards and looking quite screwed-up.
98. The bureaucrats not wanting to tell much about the location of the Ark. "We've got top men working on it." "Who?" "Top...men."
99. Indy, pissed off about the situation of the Ark, runs down the stairs in anguish. "Fools! Bureaucratic fools!"
100. Dah! There is no one-hundred!

So...is that complete enough for you? :) Anyway, if I happened to miss anything that is very funny to you, and you'd like me to include it on my list, please say so...I'll update it in a future version. Thanks for reading! And stay tuned for Finding humor in the seemingly non-humorous...revisited! Part 3 where I dissect Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade...coming to a Internet Service Provider near you! (void in Nebraska)



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