"Finding Humor in the Seemingly Non-Humorous 3" (This one's for you, Indy's Girl!)

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Posted by bud-arc from 216-119-28-205.o1.jps.net on September 18, 2000 at 02:33:25:

Come gather 'round, you young'uns! Today (or tonight...it's awfully late), I conclude my famous series that took nearly a year in the making: Finding Humor in the Seemingly Non-Humorous: The Last Crusade Edition. You see, a long moon ago (several months), someone came up with the idea of looking for all the funny/non-funny moments in the Indy movies. I decided to expand on this idea and list EVERY SINGLE thing that seems funny to me, after watching them over and over all this time. And, let me say right now, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade was the hardest one for me to do. There are just so many funny/non-funny things that make me laugh in that movie, that I'm practically guffawing throughout the flick! So, here, I present to you the official in-depth, thorough analysis on LC. Keep in mind that I spent all weekend working on this; 2 hours turned into 2 days the way I was viewing it (I should be getting paid for this!). And, as always, please send me any other submissions, corrections, etc. you may have that I haven't included in my list (not likely). I'll add it to my updated versions in the future (yeah, I'm still planning on doing that). And, for those of you who missed the first two editions of "FHitSNH," you can still find them in the Indyfan Vault. I have supplied the link to the RotLA edition at the bottom of this page, which, in turn, will lead you to the ToD link at the bottom of the page and...oh, you get the idea. Above all, ENJOY! And here it is, for your viewing pleasure:

FINDING HUMOR IN THE SEEMINGLY NON-HUMOROUS PART III of III - Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

Dedicated to Indy's Girl, the light and inspiration of my life. I love you, Ash.

1. "Dismount!" Herman (carsick) falls off his horse.
2. "Indy" gives a heroic stance and examines the Cross of Coronado with the brim of his hat way over his eyes, until he looks up and we clearly see that he is not Indy, but "Fedora." What a dirty trick!
3. Young Indy grabs Herman and bosses him around. Herman starts acting scared because of a snake in his lap, but Indy, non-fazed, casually picks it up and throws it over his shoulder.
4. Indy runs out of the cave, his arms flailing. "Everybody's lost but me!"
5. Indy jumps off of the cliff onto the horse, but misses his mark.
6. Fedora, running after Indy, whistles, and suddenly, as if on cue, two vehicles come out of nowhere.
7. Indy runs on top of the train, dodging giraffe heads, while everybody else is jumping and falling.
8. Indy rolls and falls headfirst into the vat of snakes. We see a distant shot of the train, and we hear: "Argh!"
9. Indy pulls a snake out of his shirt, and not knowing what to do, flings it into the surrounding forest.
10. The rhinoceros' horn comes up through the train, right between Indy's legs. "Holy smokes!" (if you look carefully, he's lip-syncing "Holy sh...")
11. Indy falls smack-dab into the lion cage, and freaks out. He starts yelling and thrashing his arms about, trying to scare it, but it's clear that Indy is the one who's scared.
12. Fedora - "Toss up the whip!" (Reminds me a lot of Sapito in Raiders)
13. Indy to Fedora, in a desperate voice, "This belongs in a museum!"
14. Indy jumps into the magic box and somehow ends up outside of the train altogether.
15. Indy, a job well done, gets home to his disapproving father, who refuses to listen to him and makes him count to 20 in German.
16. Herman, his face red and sweaty, walks into the Jones household and starts blowing his horn. Indy swipes it away, and gets Herman-spit all over him.
17. Young Indy turns into Indy, as the fedora is placed on his head. When we see the "new" Indy, he is complete with his cool half-smile, as the Coronado goons proceed to beat him up.
18. "Small world, Dr. Jones." "Too small for the two of us!"
19. Indy refuses to be thrown overboard, and instead kicks some guy off in the nether region, which in turn knocks him off the ship.
20. Indy knocks out two goons with one punch.
21. Indy in the classroom - "If it's truth you're interested in, Dr. Tyree's philosophy class is right down the hall."
22. Indy explains to his students, "X never, ever marks the spot." He goes on to say that "70% of all archaeology is done in the library." This information becomes relevant later (see #43).
23. As the students depart, Indy smiles knowingly to one of his female students offscreen. (Is it Indy's Girl?) :)
24. Indy to Marcus - "We can discuss my honorary over dinner and champagne tonight...your treat." Marcus, not paying attention - "Yes, yes, my treat."
25. Indy, realizing all the commotion of students outside his office, tells everyone to "Shush. Shush! SHUSH!" He then turns them over to his secretary, Irene, and high-tails it out of there.
26. Indy, not wanting to deal with the crowd again, escapes through his window like a criminal, only to meet some of Donovon's goons. Indy just looks around calmly as they surround him, trying to intimidate him.
27. Donovon enters and asks Indy about his trip. Indy just stares at him, coldly. As Donovon introduces himself, Indy takes off his fedora, displaying a severe case of "hat-hair."
28. Indy reads the inscription on the tablet - "...where the cup that holds the blood of Jesus Christ resides forever." Indy's face shows a look of great dismay.
29. Indy swallows hard as Donovon mentions his father while they're talking about Grail lore. "He's a teacher of medieval literature, the one the students hope they don't get."
30. Donovon's wife enters the scene, then looks at Indy and nods to him. But as we can plainly see, Indy's back is turned to her.
31. Donovon - "We're only one step away." Indy - "That's usually when the ground falls out from underneath your feet." "You could be more right than you know." Indy's eyebrows furrow immediately.
32. Indy refers Donovon to his father, and we see a close up of Indy grabbing his hat off the table. "Your father is the one who disappeared." Indy nearly drops his hat at this.
33. On the way over to Henry Jones' residence, Marcus explains to Indy how they've been friends for many years, but when Marcus sees the ransacked house he takes it back and says "What has the old fool got himself into now?"
34. Indy realizes that the package he received from Venice, Italy holds the key. He desperately tries hard to rip open the packaging and get the darn thing out.
35. Donovon drops off the two at the airport and explains to Marcus what to do. Marcus looks on, clearly confused.
36. At their arrival in Italy - "Ah, Venice..."
37. Indy and Marcus wonder about Dr. Schneider. "I don't know, maybe HE'll know us." Indy is surprised to learn that she is a woman.
38. "You have your father's eyes." "And my mother's ears, but the rest belongs to you." Elsa slams Indy - "Looks like the best parts have already been spoken for."
39. Elsa explains that Henry "[W]as as giddy as a schoolboy." Indy corrects her, "Who, Attila the professor? He was never giddy. Even when he was a schoolboy."
40. Indy steals a white rose from the flower stand. Offcamera, you can hear a voice yell "Hey!"
41. As Indy and Elsa continue to flirt with each other, Marcus interrupts them, annoyed.
42. When Elsa leaves to make arrangements in the library, Marcus looks after her, apparently checking out her backside. (wink, wink)
43. Everyone looks around for the 10, but all the time, it was right under their feet. Indy shrugs his shoulders. "X marks the spot!"
44. Indy bashes in the floor with the post. The librarian looks at his stamper, confused, as if it is making all that racket.
45. Marcus stares down into the hole in the floor, seemingly unaware of the Brotherhood of the Cruciform Sword that sneak in behind him.
46. Indy and Elsa explore the catacombs. "What's this one?" (indicating a picture on the wall) The Ark theme ensues. "The ark of the covenant." "Are you sure?" "Pretty sure."
47. Indy pushes in the wall, and ends up falling in half-through.
48. Indy - "Oh, rats..." Elsa - "Ugh!" (The rodents look like they're piled up on one another.)
49. A rat trips Indy, and he nearly falls, as he's trekking through the petroleum.
50. Indy picks up Elsa, and carries her caveman-style. Elsa is surprised - "Augh!"
51. Indy walks on the sides against the wall, and accidentally steps on a rat. Elsa, also tiptoeing along the wall, is unaware of many rats behind her head.
52. Sparks flicker off the torch into the petroleum, yet it doesn't have the long term effects that the match from the Cruciform brother.
53. Indy half-heartedly pushes open the lid of the coffin with one hand, while Elsa does most of the work.
54. Indy finds the marker on the shield of the second knight. "Just like your father, giddy as a schoolboy!" Indy does a schoolboy-esque laugh to this.
55. Indy explains his father's situation to Elsa. "He never would've made it through the rats. He hates rats!"
56. When faced with the burning petroleum, Indy just throws out the knight's dead body, regardless of its pricelessness.
57. Elsa takes an awkward deep breath as she submerges herself under the coffin.
58. Indy and Elsa come out of the sewers, to the onlookers' dismay. "Ah, Venice..."
59. Trying to escape the Brotherhood, Indy and Elsa jump into a boat. Elsa falls in crooked. As they take off, a Cruciform brother jumps onboard and hangs on for dear life. Indy jumps to the back to take care of him and there is this SCREECH sound as he slides by.
60. Elsa dodges the bullets coming from the back. She turns around, with a really pissed off look on her face.
61. Indy beats the hell out of the Cruciform brother in the back. This is funny in itself!
62. Indy sees the onlooking two ships. "Are you crazy? Don't go between them!" "Go between them! Are you crazy?" They barely make it, but the Brotherhood's boat gets scrunched in-between and ends up coming out as a wedge.
63. We see another boat with members of the Brotherhood. A Cruciform brother stares out the side of the boat, looking at the ocean, as if nothing is happening. He is frightened by his buddy, who grabs him by the shoulder and tells him to get in the back.
64. Indy fights these two guys at once, and kicks one of them in the face. You can hear a splitsecond "Ow!" before he falls into the water.
65. One of the Cruciform brothers jumps onto Indy's ship and lands flat on his face.
66. "Ask yourself, why do you seek the Cup of Christ? Is it for his glory, or for yours?" Indy assures him that he's only looking for his father. The Cruciform brother reconsiders. "In that case, God be with you on your quest," and suddenly he has detailed information on Henry.
67. Indy talks with Marcus about the whereabouts of the grail. "But where?" "Your father would know." "Hmmm..."
68. Indy motions for Elsa to step out of the bathroom, and she tries to act surprised at the ransacked room. (I can see right through her Nazi exterior!)
69. Elsa realizes that Indy had the Grail Diary all along. "You didn't trust me?" "At least I let you tag along."
70. Indy makes his dramatic speech about the way he wants things done, followed by hastily forcing himself on Elsa. "How dare you kiss me?" Elsa comes back with a wallup of her own, sucking the breath out of Indy. "Leave me alone; I don't like fast women!" "And I hate arrogant men!"
71. They proceed with their rousing game of tough loving, as Indy goes down, a dizzy look in his eyes. Indy looks on to the side. "Ah, Venice..." Elsa snaps his head back to her in a quick motion, and they continue...
72. Indy and Elsa in the car, outside the Brunwald Castle. "What are you going to do?" "Don't know, [I'll] think of something." (a slightly modified version of 'I'm making this up as I go')
73. Indy enters the scene with a beret and a heavy Scottish accent. Need I say more? :)
74. Indy (as the Scottish lord), comes in soaking wet and sneezes. "Now look, I've gone and caught a sniffle!" Indy pulls Elsa close to him and she slips by.
75. "If you are a Scottish lord, then I am Mickey Mouse!" "How dare he?" POW!
76. "Nazis. I HATE these guys."
77. Indy passes by a heavily locked door. "I think he's in here." Elsa inquires, "How do you know?" Without looking, Indy indicates with his hand. "Because it's wired."
78. Indy opens the window, and unfurls his whip. "Don't worry, this is kid's play! I'll be right back." Indy swings through the window to Professor Henry Jones' room and is greeted with a vase to the head.
79. Henry Jones, incrediously. "Junior?" Indy stands at attention to his father. "Yes, sir!" "It IS you, Junior!" "Don't call me that...please."
80. Henry studies the broken vase. "It breaks the heart." "And the head. You hit me, dad." Henry, referring to the vase, "I'll never forgive myself." Indy's face lightens up and his expression melts. "Aw, don't worry. It's fine." "Thank God," Henry pulls Indy close to him, "It's a fake." Indy's expression here is timeless. It's like he's been slapped in the face.
81. "I really thought you were one of them." "Dad, they come in through the doors." "Ha! Good point."
82. Henry is as giddy as a schoolboy, as Indy tells him of the discovery. "There were rats there. Big ones." Henry's expression abruptly changes at this.
83. Henry tells Indy of the Grail Diary. "I knew I had to get that book as far away from me as I possibly could." Indy, averts his eyes and hesitantly answers, "Yeah..."
84. A Nazi stooge enters the room. Indy puts his hands up and Henry copies. "Dr. Jones?" (at the same time) "Yes?" "I will take the book now." Father and son exchange glances. (again, simultaneously) "What book?" The Nazi refers to the Diary in Indy's front jacket pocket. Henry - "You dolt! You think my son would be that STUPID?" Indy blinks and looks sympathetically towards his father. "Well, uh..." Henry can't believe it. "You did?" Indy looks to the Nazis, embarrassed. "Look, can we discuss this later? "I should have mailed it to the Marx Brothers!" "Will you take it easy?!"
85. "I came here to save you!" "Oh yeah? And who's gonna save you - Junior?" "I told you..." Indy takes a machine gun away from the nearest Nazi and starts blowing everyone away. A beat passes. "...Don't call me Junior!" Henry is shocked. "Look what you did! I can't believe what you j--" Indy pulls him away in mid-sentence.
86. Indy is faced with a moment of truth. Should he believe his father and take his word that Elsa is a Nazi, or try to save her? "She's a Nazi. Trust me." Indy, disbelieving, slides the gun on the table, breaking a few glasses. The Nazi pushes Elsa into Indy, and her hair is all screwed up. "Indy, I'm sorry." Indy softens up. "But you should've listened to your father." Indy, still in a state of disbelief, can't believe he was deceived.
87. "How did you know she was a Nazi?" "She talks in her sleep." Indy just nods, and then realizes what was said. Henry just chuckles.
88. Indy, faced with the charge of ripping the map out from the Grail Diary, smiles knowingly. Indy explains how Marcus has "already succeeded." We cut to Marcus, lost in the middle of Iskenderun. "Um...does anyone speak english?" A man puts a glass of water underneath Marcus' nose. "No thanks, fish make love in it."
89. After Marcus meets Sallah, there's a shtick where a man in black tips his head toward Marcus, and Marcus leans his head back at the same time. It's a classic!
90. Sallah, trying to distract the imposters, tries to get Marcus' attention. "Papers...yes...(under his breath)...run!" "Yes?" After a couple of attempts, Sallah decides to take matters in his own hand and gives the guy a knuckle sandwich. Then Sallah accidentally loads Marcus into a departing truck, and looks after it, stunned and frozen in place.
91. Indy and Henry are tied up. Elsa leans in close to Indy's ear. "I can't forget how wonderful it was." Henry - "Thank you, it was rather wonderful." Indy looks back at him, appalled and disgusted. Then Indy looks on with no emotion as Elsa proceeds to give him the kissing of a lifetime, complete with sucking his lower lip. "That's how Austrians say goodbye." The Nazi stooge steps up. "And this is how we say goodbye in Germany, Dr. Jones." SMACK! Indy's head knocks into Henry's head. "I liked the Austrian way better."
92. Indy explains to Henry that Marcus isn't really ahead of everyone. He reminds him, "You know, Marcus. He got lost once in his own museum. Henry - "Oh."
93. Henry drops the cigarette lighter and blows on it, hoping to douse the flame, but instead the carpet and curtains flare up in a blaze of glory. Henry continues to blow. "Indy?" "Now's not the time to get sentimental, dad." "The floor's on fire. See? The floor too!" Indy and Henry desperate scurry about the floor, escaping the flames by rocking back and forth, to and fro.
94. Indy and Henry try to meet face to face. "Dad?" "What?" "Dad?!" "What?!" "DAD!" They finally meet eye to eye. "Head for the fireplace." They waddle away as fast as possible.
95. Indy accidentally sets off the trap door in the fireplace. The spinning door turns 360 degrees and barely misses detection. "Our situation has not improved." One more time, Indy sets off the lever and this time, they're stuck on the other side of the wall. They meet with a Nazi lady, and smile to each other before she lets out a big yell that sounds like that lady from Austin Powers.
96. Finally, after Henry gets caught on the other side, alone with all the Nazis, Indy takes care of the rest. He jams the spinning trapdoor with a bust. Indy "falls" into a secret passageway, as Henry accidentally sets off a rocking chair lever. Indy tumbles down the stairs. They arrive outside. Henry - "Would you say this is another typical day for you?" Indy proceeds to start a motorboat, and Henry thinks they're going to escape by sea. He throws his bag at Indy who immediately throws it back at him. Indy then runs off, as the motorboat speeds away, vacant. Henry is still confused. "What about the boat? We're not going in the boat?"
97. As the Nazis prepare to follow the boat, Indy and Henry pop out of a crate, with Indy driving, and Henry in the little sidecar. He is clearly not to happy about this setup. As Indy takes off, he knocks two Nazi stooges off the road into the water. Indy snickers to himself. As he looks over to Henry for support, he gives a double-take, as Henry looks on disapprovingly. Indy's famous lop-sided grin is wiped off his face completely, and he tries to look serious.
98. Indy somehow picks up a flagpole from the ground and uses it as a lance towards the oncoming hulking Nazi on a motorbike to knock him off. In turn, the bike knocks two Nazis coming in the opposite direction off their feet...literally. A remaining Nazi pops a wheelie and lands its front wheels near Indy's head. Indy uses the remaining piece of the pole to send the last Nazi flying...also literally. Again, Indy starts laughing, only to see the concerned look of his dad frowning down upon him. He looks down at his watch, unamused.
99. Indy and Henry stop at the fork in the road. Henry wants to go get the book instead of rescuing Marcus. Henry - "The only thing that matters is the grail." "What about Marcus?" "Marcus would agree with me." The conversation goes on and gets into a serious argument. Henry feels the need to slap some sense into Indiana. SLAP! "That's for blasphemy."
100. Indy in Berlin. The first thing we see him do is drag the knocked out body of a Nazi soldier and instantly coming out with a uniform. Indy, dead-serious, comes up behind Elsa. He threatens her. "All I have to do is squeeze." She retorts, "All I have to do is scream." After Indy gets the Diary, he is forced into a mob, and finds himself face to face with his greatest enemy. Indy looks on, horrified, as Adolf Hitler takes the Grail Diary from his hands and...signs it. The next shot we see is Indy telling Henry to get out of here, and we cut to them zooming off to the airport in the motorbike.
101. In the zeppelin, Indy spots a suspicious man, and so proceeds to steal a ticket taker's clothes. Before the Nazi can reveal Henry's identity, Indy comes up behind him and socks him and throws him out the window. When faced with a group of horrified onlookers, Indy indicates that he had "[n]o ticket." Immediately, everyone puts their tickets in the air.
102. Indy and Henry talk about Elsa. Henry - "I'm as human as the next man." Indy - "I WAS the next man."
103. Indy confronts Henry about his childhood and the fact that they never talked. Henry gives Indy his full attention. "Okay, I'm here. What do you want to talk about?" Indy, red-faced, is at a loss for words. Henry's eyes widen. Indy laughs. "I can't think of anything." "Then what are you complaining about?"
104. After noticing that the zeppelin was turning around, Indy and Henry escape in a sideplane. "I didn't know that you could fly." "Fly, yes. Land, no!" Indy tells Henry that he must use the machine gun. Indy indicates, "11 o'clock!" Henry is puzzled. "What happens at eleven o'clock?" After Henry gets the hang of it, he blows out the tail of their own plane. Sheepishly, Henry tells Indy, "I'm sorry, son. They got us." Indy tries to land the plane as best as he can without killing them. He ends up crashing into a farm. Henry, sarcastically - "Nice landing." "Thanks."
105. Indy and Henry are still being shot at. They jump into a nearby trench. At the oncoming barrage of bullets that come, Henry hides himself behind Indy, using Indy as a shield. "They're trying to kill us," Henry notes. "I know, dad!" Indy yells at the top of his lungs. "It's a new experience for me." "It happens to me all the time."
106. While a man tries to fix his car, Indy and Henry hop in and speed off. The man looks on, dumbfounded. The plane follows the car into a tunnel and loses its wings. The pilot, like an idiot, looks around as he passes the car, before blowing up in a fiery explosion. Henry - "Well, they don't come any closer than that." As if on cue, a missle drops a few feet from the front of the car, landing them in a ditch. Henry stands up from the mess, and brushes off his clothes, unfazed.
107. Henry walks onto the beach clucking and doing a dance, while Indy looks at him as if he's gone cuckoo.
108. Meanwhile, Donovon is getting permission for taking the grail from the king. Donovon offers him all the riches they have, but finally, His Excellency settles for a brand new Rolls-Royce. "And I even like the color!" Later on, Donovon, Elsa, and Marcus are driving on, as Elsa's head bobs on her pencil neck. Donovon - "Care to wet your whistle, Marcus?" "I'd rather spit in your face, but since I haven't any spit left..."
109. Indy looks on at the car from a safe distance. Henry - "What do you think you're doing?" "Dad, we're well out of range." Suddenly a bullet whizzes past his head.
110. Sallah's car gets bombed. "That belonged to my brother-in-law!"
111. The Brotherhood of the Cruciform Sword risk their neck to stop the Nazis. Henry - "Now who are all these people?" Indy - "Who cares, as long as they're keeping Donovon busy?"
112. Indy mentions to Sallah, "I'm going after those horses." (reminiscent of Raiders) He points his finger at Sallah, "No camels!"
113. Henry sneaks into the tank and taps Marcus on the shoulder. "Ahh!" They proceed to give each other some kind of obscure greeting. "Henry, what are you doing here?" "It's a rescue!" But just as fast as it started, they're already caught. A Nazi starts torturing Henry by slapping him with a glove. Before he can hit him again, Henry grabs his hand, and you can see a gun come out of nowhere and point in his face.
114. Indy, having stole 4 horses somewhere, meets with Sallah. "I said no camels! That's five camels! Can't you count?"
115. Indy rides his horse between the tank (which can't see peripherally) and an oncoming jeep. They collide, and the jeep ends up upside down on the tank. You can clearly see a man inside, trying to claw his way out. The jeep is then shot off by a cannon, and crushed.
116. Indy takes a rock and stuffs it into a gun barrel, jamming it. When it goes off, it backfires and the nozzle explodes.
117. Indy uses his gun to take aim at the Nazis, but runs out of bullets. He tries to stuff his Webley back in its holster, but seems to have a bit of a problem doing so.
118. Indy jumps off the horse and slams onto the tank, and takes out a Nazi. He then acquire a new gun and, when faced with three Nazis, he shoots through all of them, and looks carefully at the sheer power of this new weapon.
119. As Indy is getting choked by the chain, he still manages to call to his dad, where the gun had dropped. Henry looks at it as if it's a foreign object, and is not sure whether to touch it.
120. While fighting, Indy gets thrown against a periscope with his face all smushed up against it. The periscope Nazi starts bragging to his commanding officer in a pansy voice as Indy hits the scope and sends the Nazi below flailing.
121. Henry sprays a Nazi in the eye with ink while fighting for the gun. Marcus comments, "The pen...the pen is mightier than the sword!"
122. Indy falls off the tank and somehow ends up caught on the tank gun, hanging by his knapsack strap. Colonel Vogel indicates for the driver to force Indy into the side of the wall. Inside the tank, though, a shot rings out and ricochets throughout the interior. Finally, it ends up between the eyes of the driver, which saves Indy at the last minute. "You call this archaeology?"
123 (ABC). Marcus - "How does one get off this thing?" Indy pulls back a punch towards Vogel and accidentally elbows Marcus off the tank on his butt. Henry looks around, "Where's Marcus?" He then gets hit my an incoming shovel and takes a ride on the revolving belt of the tank. He's saved only by Indy's quick whip reflexes.
124. The tank goes off the cliff. We see a toy tank complete with a Vogel action figure hit the ground and fall apart. Henry, Marcus, and Sallah look off the edge of the cliff. "Junior!" The BOOM! of the tank exploding comes the reply. "Oh, God. I've lost him." Meanwhile, we see a torn-up, battle-damaged Indy feeling tired and looking like crap pulling his lifeless body up the cliff. He comes up behind the trio and looks on with the rest, unaware of what's going on, as he tries to catch his breath, and stop nodding his head.
125. Marcus attempts to figure out how Indy made it off the tank in time. You can see him calculating it in his head.
126. Henry embraces his son, and just as abruptly, lets go. Indy falls to his knees, no strength left in his body. "Why are you sitting there resting when we're so near the end?" Indy, half-dead, just shuts his eyes, and 'mysterically' his fedora comes out of nowhere.
127. Indy and the gang finally reach the Canyon of the Crescent Moon and watch in horror as a cheesy decapitation scene followed with a rollicking, bouncing head appears before them. Marcus covers his mouth in disgust.
128. Indy and Elsa meet once again. "I never expected to see you again." I'm like a bad penny, I always turn up."
129. At the Breath of God, Indy kneels, but immediately has to do a somersault over the next razorblade. If not for his quick reflexes, he would've been duck soup. As he emerges through the age old booby-trap, he's covered with thick spiderwebs.
130. At the Word of God, Indy nearly falls through the 'J.' "Idiot! In Latin, Jehovah starts with an 'I'!" He speaks aloud with each letter he steps on. I-E-H-O--oh! Indy nearly falls backward on the 'O.'
131. At the Path of God, Indy works up the courage to take a leap of faith and finally lifts his leg stiffly before stumbling down on what seems to be "solid" ground.
132. The last knight (Sir Alec Guinness?) tries to swing his sword at Indy, but after 700 years, he seems to have gotten a little rusty. He falls backward with the weight of the weapon.
133. "You're strangely dressed...for a knight." The knight examines Indy's bullwhip.
134. Donovan and Elsa enter the scene. They try to pick the correct Grail. Donovon - "I'm not a historian, which one is it?" Elsa - "Let me choose." "Thank you, doctor." Indy and the knight exchange glances as Elsa picks the wrong one on purpose.
135. Donovon drinks from the wrong grail. He goes through a rapid age metamorphesis and finally ends up as old bones. (He first undergoes a brief transformation into Christopher Lloyd) "He choose...poorly."
136. Sallah has the upper hand this time, as he command the Nazis to: "Drop your guns...please."
137. Elsa, like an idiot, passes the Great Seal. She does a pathetic little lunge for the grail as it falls into a crevice. Indy flies down behind, trying to catch her. Elsa, full of greed, chooses to fall into the abyss while trying to retrieve the grail instead of taking Indy's hand and saving herself.
138. Indy, in the same situation as Elsa, also tries to grab for the grail, until he hears the voice of reason: His father, actually calling him Indiana for the first time.
139. Indy and Henry leave the poor knight there to suffer another millenium with billions of dollars of damages and the Holy Grail halfway beneath the earth's crust. He waves to them, looking rather disappointed.
140. When they're finally safe and free from the canyon, Indy asks Henry what he found. "Illumination," he answers. "What did you find, Junior?" "Junior? Dad..." Sallah - "Please, what does it always mean? This..Junior..." "That's his name; Henry Jones Jr." "I like Indiana." Henry leans in close to Indy, "We named the DOG Indiana." Sallah - "The dog? Ha-ha! You are named after the dog?" Indy tries to keep a straight face and stop from smiling, "I have a lot of fond memories of that dog." Sallah continues to laugh in the background. Marcus interrupts, "Indy! Henry! Follow me! I know the way! Ha!" The horse races off with Marcus falling half-off, desperately trying to hang on for dear life. Just like the movie started with Herman falling off his horse. Henry - "Got lost in his own museum, huh?" "Yeah." "After you, Junior!" "Yessir!" And Indy saves the day once more. They go on, riding into the sunset, like heroes often do.
THE END
To be continued? One can only hope.


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