My top ten ways to make Raiders of the Lost Ark a better film:

Posted by graml from sdn-ar-004vannewP030.dialsprint.net on September 19, 2000 at 18:46:20:

Yes, folks, from the home office in Newport News, Virginia, I give you my list of the top ten ways to make Raiders of the Lost Ark a better film:
10. Indy and Marion steal the flying wing and join the Mile High Club.
9. Why snakes in the Well of Souls? Why not bratwurst?
8. Replace that pesky Sallah with lovable Regis Philbin.
7. Wait a minute...that's not Forestall...that's Pauly Shore!
6. They open the Ark and out pops Richard Simmons!
5. The Golden Idol of Fertility is made of delicious milk chocolate.
4. Have Belloq replaced by that Chewbacca guy.
3. Nothin' says "adventure" like a powder blue porkpie hat!
2. Marion runs a Tibetan lesbian bar.
1. That ain't Indy's whip swinging in the breeze!
Thanks for your time! Peace out!
-graml

Follow Ups:

• I would agree with #7. Is that Gram-el or Gram-one?(nm) Dakota Ellison 19:11:10 9/19/2000 (4)
  • Curse that Cueball! graml 19:20:01 9/19/2000 (3)
    • Well, GramL, I thought Kathy Lee could play the Hovitos..... Dakota Ellison 20:22:15 9/19/2000 (2)
      • After that, you DESERVE nightmares! :) graml 20:32:03 9/19/2000 (1)
        • Number 11: "The Man With The Hat is back: and this time he's bringing his Blueprint For The Middle Class". You forgot thie one: 23:53:11 9/19/2000 (0)

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