Posted by Ben Zimmerman from node7.dodgecity.midusa.net on August 17, 1998 at 10:30:22:
In Reply to: Who'd be trashed, Bond or Jones? posted by Mithrandir on August 16, 1998 at 15:34:49:
: LET"S GET READY TO RUMMBLLLLLLLLLLLLE! The two contenders are facing each other for the first time tonight; in one corner, wearing the fedora, wested jacket, and trusted whip and Webley, the Doctor of Delight, the Professor of Pain, INDIANAAAAAAAAA JONES! In the opposing corner, wearing the pressed tux, sexy looks (HA!-Mithrandir), and deadly secret arsenal, the Brit with Brash, double-o uh-oh, BOND, JAAAAAAAAAMES BOND!
Bond responds with a massive suave-move, pulling a cigarette and poking Jones' in the eye with it within seconds of the bell. Jones is staggering, staggering. Uh-oh folks, Bond is coming again, he's gonna kick -- ohhh!
Jones lashes out and grabs Bond's foot! He's dragging him around the ring now, this is not pretty! He's got the whip, yes fans, he is, he's choking Agent 007 with his whip!
It's all over folks, but wait, Bond is pulling something out of his jacket, it's a, it's a, yes it is, a Walther PPK! One shot, two, Jones is down! Jones is down!
Or is he, he's struggling for his own revolver, he's got it, Bond's got some fear on his face now, Jones pulls it, one, two, three shots. Bond goes flying across the ring!
IT'S OVER FOLKS! THEY'RE BOTH DEAD!
Wait, it isn't, they're both getting up, shaking hands, oh my, oh yes, we forgot these two fighters have SEQUEL POTENTIAL!!
They're smiling, let's go ringside and see if we can hear what they're saying...
BOB PARKER: Hello, you just saw one of the best fights of the century! Amazing, here come the fighters now, patting backs no less!
JAMES BOND: Shocking. Positively Shocking.
BOB PARKER: Stunning job, Double-Oh Seven. Tell me, what made you think of the PPK?
JAMES BOND: aksldfj;adjf eiaodjf; fkafiaheoiha kdfsf
BOB PARKER: Wow, that Scottish accent is hard to decipher! How about you, Henry Jones Junior?
INDIANA JONES: I like Indiana.
JAMES BOND: They named the f---ing dog Indiana.
STEVEN SPEILBERG: Hey, I like that, definitely some potential. Say, Mr. Bond, would you like to be in our next movie, maybe Indy's dad?
JAMES BOND: Will you give me more money than EON did?
STEVEN SPEILBERG: Sure.
INDIANA JONES: Do I get any say in this?
JAMES BOND: Shut up. I'm more established.
STEVEN SPEILBERG: Okay, it's set then!
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