I'm a wanker!

Posted by Tony Parker from surfola.com on May 07, 2001 at 16:48:49:

In Reply to: You guys are "Flooding this BB with off topic BS posted by Tony Parker on May 07, 2001 at 10:10:03:

My mother said that I never should
play with the naughty, rude girls in the wood.
Their giggling talk I could never understand,
and that's why I fell in love with my right hand.

And that's why
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker!
and it does me good like it bloody well should.
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker
and I'm always pulling my pud'!

I was twenty-five years old before I was kissed,
and then I found that I preferred a swift one off the wrist.
It's cheap and convenient, you can't catch VD.
It's available at any time and it's absolutely free.

And that's why
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker!
and it does me good like it bloody well should.
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker
and I'm always pulling my pud'!

Oh, Mrs Palm and your five lovely daughters,
thank you for having me and being oh, so kind.
I've got pains in my arms and my dong is growing shorter,
My knees have turned to water, and I think I'm going blind.

I've wanked over Italy, I've wanked over Spain.
I've wanked in and on a bus, I've even had a wank in a train.
I've used a badger and a melon and a cat,
an inflatable Linda Lovelace, and a Davy Crockett hat.

And that's why
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker! (I'm a wanker! I'm a wanker!)
and it does me good like it bloody well should. (It does me good!)
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker (I'm a wanker!)
and I'm always pulling my pud'! (I'm always pulling me pud'!)

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