Hey, if it weren't for monkeys....

Posted by Curious from 1Cust140.tnt1.brunswick.ga.da.uu.net on March 14, 2001 at 17:37:03:

In Reply to: I hate that monkey! posted by graml on March 14, 2001 at 07:25:21:

...we'd never have had Ronald Reagan as President. Remember that film classic, "Bedtime for Bonzo"? Sort of put the Gipper on top, as I recall. Okay, Bonzo was a chimp (therefore an ape) instead of a monkey but everyone considers them interchangeable.

graml, please learn to control your anger. It's called "acting". That little hairy guy was playing a role, and he did a mighty fine job of it. He was a convincing little villain, though, wasn't he? His Nazi salute was primo.

I have it on good authority that then-struggling actor Danny DeVito was first offered that role but turned it down because he was unwilling to have the hair on his bag thinned out enough to pass for a monkey. It was then offered to then-unknown Joe Pesci who said he'd do it only if he could carry a baseball bat or shoot the Cairo swordsman in the kneecaps.

My source has also related to me some disturbing rumors about the possibility of a combined "Raiders of the Lost Ark" and "Temple of Doom" remake starring David Schwimmer as Indy, Drew Barrymore as Marion, Ray Romano as Belloq, Kelsey Grammer as Sallah, Chris Rock as Mr. Katanga, Regis Philbin as Toht, Mary Kate or Ashley Olsen as Short Round, Madonna as Willie Scott, Will Farrell as Mola Rom and the swishy guy from "Will and Grace" as Colonel Deitrich.

Could happen.

: Twenty years have done nothing to dilute my hatred for that evil little primate. Not only was he a Nazi sympathizer, but he also sold out Marion! What a jerk! I don't even like the monkey that played the monkey in Raiders. In fact, I have boycotted every one of his other movies. Or at least, I assume I have. I guess the scene where he alerted the Nazis to Marion hiding in the basket really set the tone for my childhood...I still can't go to a zoo without trying to throw things at those snooty monkeys hanging out on the monkey island. Are there any twelve step programs for those of us with undying hatred for monkeys? I'm tired of letting hate rule my life. At least when I'm around monkeys.
: -graml
: PS Anyone remember that movie "Ed", in which a chimp plays for a small town baseball team? No, I didn't see it either. Mostly because I can't believe Hollywood sullied the good name of baseball by including a chimp.
: PPS I really should start checking the expiration date on milk, shouldn't I? Or else there are going to be A LOT more of these posts!

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: ...we'd never have had Ronald Reagan as President.  Remember that film classic, "Bedtime for Bonzo"?  Sort of put the Gipper on top, as I recall.  Okay, Bonzo was a chimp (therefore an ape) instead of a monkey but everyone considers them interchangeable.

: graml, please learn to control your anger.  It's called "acting".   That little hairy guy was playing a role, and he did a mighty fine job of it.  He was a convincing little villain, though, wasn't he?  His Nazi salute was primo.

: I have it on good authority that then-struggling actor Danny DeVito was first offered that role but turned it down because he was unwilling to have the hair on his bag thinned out enough to pass for a monkey.  It was then offered to then-unknown Joe Pesci who said he'd do it only if he could carry a baseball bat or shoot the Cairo swordsman in the kneecaps.

: My source has also related to me some disturbing rumors about the possibility of a combined "Raiders of the Lost Ark" and "Temple of Doom" remake starring David Schwimmer as Indy, Drew Barrymore as Marion, Ray Romano as Belloq, Kelsey Grammer as Sallah, Chris Rock as Mr. Katanga, Regis Philbin as Toht, Mary Kate or Ashley Olsen as Short Round, Madonna as Willie Scott, Will Farrell as Mola Rom and the swishy guy from "Will and Grace" as Colonel Deitrich.

: Could happen.

: : Twenty years have done nothing to dilute my hatred for that evil little primate.  Not only was he a Nazi sympathizer, but he also sold out Marion!  What a jerk!  I don't even like the monkey that played the monkey in Raiders.  In fact, I have boycotted every one of his other movies.  Or at least, I assume I have.  I guess the scene where he alerted the Nazis to Marion hiding in the basket really set the tone for my childhood...I still can't go to a zoo without trying to throw things at those snooty monkeys hanging out on the monkey island.  Are there any twelve step programs for those of us with undying hatred for monkeys?  I'm tired of letting hate rule my life.  At least when I'm around monkeys.
: : -graml
: : PS  Anyone remember that movie "Ed", in which a chimp plays for a small town baseball team?  No, I didn't see it either.  Mostly because I can't believe Hollywood sullied the good name of baseball by including a chimp.
: : PPS  I really should start checking the expiration date on milk, shouldn't I?  Or else there are going to be A LOT more of these posts!

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